What if I AM the droid you're looking for?

2007-01-03T12:34:00.000+01:00

I'm giving up on this blog and trying again elsewhere. See you there?

2006-07-16T10:51:00.000+02:00

Birgit and I are off on vacation. We will be gone until 31 July. We will be, among other places, here.

So, until I return, I formally declare

an

(drum roll)

OPEN THREAD!!!

(symbol crash)

2006-07-11T22:08:00.000+02:00

I have a few things to say. I'm gonna say 'em.

1. The Mexican election, which I mentioned would take place on Sunday, took and may still be taking place. I haven't been following things closely, but from what I understand there is a disputed result, with the conservative PAN candidate claiming victory and the leftish PRD candidate claiming fraud. I reckon that it is totally possible, even likely, that there was fraud because * it is Mexico, * the PAN is connected to the Bushies, * the PAN tried, and failed, to keep Obrador (PRD) from running to begin with, * Obrador led in pretty much all polls for the past two years, * the result is razor thin, and * the "winners" claim there were tons of blank or improper ballots. Basically, I'm waiting. I hope the regular folk of Mexico don't get fooled again.

2. There has been much discussion of what Matarazzi said to Zidane to provoke him. I don't care. I wouldn't be surprised if it was something nasty, but still don't care. I also am not worked up about what Zidane did. I hate intentional fouls in soccer, of course, but mostly because those are a form of cheating. Such things as what de Rossi did to McBride are intended to take the other player out of the game. What Zidane did, on the other hand, was plain ole "I'm very angry" stuff. One should not forget that professional athletes are adults, and sometimes adults get so angry at other adults that they choose violence. I, myself, have never done this, but it is not a cause for undue alarm. The miracle is that it doesn't happen more often, and that miracle has a name: civilization.

3. The World Cup had some really interesting non-sport effects on Germany. One totally positive one was that it boosted the average German's belief in the idea that he or she is capable of being viewed by the outside world as a pleasant host. This could do wonders for the "service desert" that is this country. Fingers crossed. Also positive was the management style of Klinsman and the way in which he was vindicated after having been attacked from all sides for two years. Basically, he was decisive and optimistic and welcomed risk. These are not common German stereotypes, suffice it to say. Perhaps Joe German will now take a few bills out of his MASSIVE pile of savings (seriously: this is a country of savers) and spend a little or invest a little or move around a little or try something new. I am less pleased, however, about the much ballyhooed upsurge in German "patriotism", which has been manifested largely by a plague of flags and people telling journalists that they are "proud". I don't trust flagwavers and I don't trust people who are proud of things like countries. I am (in theory if not in practice) proud of things I have done, but think it illogical to be proud of strangers actions. I can be, and often am, happy for them and happy to be around them and benefit from their actions. No more than that. Pride is dangerous. It is the first step on an ugly road. And it goeth oft before a fall.

4. Syd Barrett was very much alive until recently. He is now dead. Axes played no role in his death.

5. With Occam's Hammer in hand, I announce the victory of the American League over the National League in tonight's All Star game. You heard it here first?

6. I gotta get me one of them youtubes. They seem pretty cool.

2006-07-10T00:11:00.000+02:00

I forgot to mention that those seeking to understand the French defeat (which included such inexplicable things as Zidane's 'header' and Henri's early exit), need only remember

OCCAM'S HAMMER.

I told you.

2006-07-10T00:03:00.000+02:00

Of 64 games I correctly predicted 34 (35 if you count England/Paraguay). Better than I expected.

Germany did really well, and everyone is all frothed up here.

Turns out, also, that my town is slam full of Italians, and though I rooted against them, I have to give them credit for fan support. The city blocked off several streets for an impromptu parade (which I followed for a while). Horns are still honking.

I am going to South Africa. That's it, as Jules said. I'm fuckin' goin'.

I may go to the European championship in 2008, too.

I'm telling you: atmosphere.

2006-07-08T23:55:00.000+02:00

Germany won (in) the World Cup!

They have third place. The Portugeezers are fourth.

It was an interesting first half and a really fun second half. Cousin Oliver played keeper and was awesome. Schweinsteiger (whose name means "he who climbs on the backs of pigs") scored two beautiful goals and a 'geezer scored an own goal. Another 'geezer headed one past Cousin Oliver (who had no chance).

The streets are full of honking cars.

I predicted 4-0 Germany, by the way. So close!

2006-07-08T11:55:00.000+02:00

Found via Pandagon

2006-07-07T21:25:00.000+02:00

I have had a blog since late 2001 (as have children as yet unborn) but have never before used the following term: Occam's Razor.

To the extent that I give a shit (I can't be bothered to check this), this is a "philosophical" thingy urging us to remember that, whenever we are confronted by some sort of mystery, we should latch on to the most probable of all possible explanations. Very Scooby Doo.

Forget, for a moment, the razor.

I haven't managed to support a winning sports team since putting my genetic proclivity towards the University of Alabama Crimson Tide football team on the backburner (after they last won it all). By "winning", I refer to "it all". I don't count my support of the Green Bay Packers back when they twopeated. That was just me supporting a fellow former USM Golden Eagle. I haven't ever really given a shit about the NFL anyway. But . . .

* I lost bets in support of the Buffalo Bills FOUR times.
* I lost a bet in support of the Philadelphia Phillies.
* I have been an ardent fan of the Chicago Cubs since 1984. They have sucked far more often than not.
* I support USM and the West Virginia University Mountaineers in college football (in addition to the Tide) because I attended those fine institutions. They haven't won it all.
* I support the US men's soccer team, and openly rooted for them to make it out of the group round this year. They didn't.
* I predicted the Mexican men's soccer team in this World Cup to win it all. They didn't.
* After Mexico lost, I switched allegiance to my adopted homeland, Germany. They haven't won it all.

Granted, the Tide have won it all a few times during my lifetime, and I passively supported the US women's soccer team during their runs, but I'm not counting those because they don't fit with what I'm getting at.

Namely.

Teams suck or simply disappoint because I support them.

This fits nicely with Occam's Hammer: when a collection of facts seem, when you hold your mouth right, to form a vague pattern, then they can be made sense of ONLY in terms of the most ridiculously self-centered explanation possible.

Occam's Hammer thus dictates that Italy will defeat France in the game on Sunday.

Occam's Garlic Press, by the way, is when you take a big, difficult-to-digest thing and squeeze it in to tiny, and much more palatble (but unrecognizable) things. For example, the history of the Roman Empire (all 2000 or so years of it) becomes a series of anecdotes about fiddling, horse promotion, collapse, lions, and hand washing.

Did/does Occam have anything else?

2006-07-06T18:39:00.000+02:00

Lightning round:

How come everyone has their panties in a twist about North Korea's missles?

Let me rephrase that: aside from the fact that missles are hellish things which should not exist, how come everyone has their panties in a twist about North Korea's missles?

Is it that it is North Korea what has them? They not allowed?

That must be it.

I haven't had a missle test ever, and don't even have any missiles (other than my love missile, which has a limited range)

I said something very similar to this, by the way, a few months ago with respect to Iran's interest in newkillar things.

2006-07-05T06:01:00.000+02:00

I'd just like to point out to betty that this is the same Italy team that fouled, dove, and whined their way through the first round. She likes that? Perhaps we'll get lucky and the Portugeezers will beat France. Then we can dispense with soccer altogether and have a foul-off and/or dive-off to decide the champions!

(Having said that: the Italian goals were lovely)

2006-07-04T23:52:00.000+02:00

Lemmie put it this way: there was nothing I saw which would have swayed the game one way or another BUT

Fuckin' Tallies, dude.

I mean, the Tallies in the final? After how they've played?

It is a serious stab in the heart of anyone who actually enjoys football.

If you are an Italy supporter, and have no connection to Italy with which you might justify it, then you should fuck the fuck off. Your boys are fucking fuckers. They fuck their mothers, then use their mothers as fuckers with which they fuck other mothers.

See? That bit of typing? That was the typing equivalent of an Italy game.

Grr.

So. I'm not going to Berlin. But I'm still taking Monday off.

2006-06-29T19:41:00.000+02:00

I must apologize for having let World Cup hoopla push the following story out of my forebrain: Mexico will elect a president on Sunday.

This could have a high level of significance. Basically, if the PRI candidate wins (not likely), it will return to power the party that ran the joint for over 70 years. If Obrador (of PRD) wins (a distinct possibility), it would mean aNOTHER leftish government in Latin America (everything's coming up izquierda lately, or somethin'), and aNOTHER one whose oil reserves give it the potential, a la Venezuela, to hold the USA by the shorthairs. A PAN win (possible), would mean more of the same ole same ole (Fox is from PAN): more NAFTA, more economic refugees, more corruption, more drugwar, etc.

Attention must be paid.

(Note the cool "no more campaigning for a couple of days" rule. I think I like that.)

2006-06-29T06:03:00.000+02:00

Ahem. So.

Germany did beat Sweden and England sqwoke by Ecuador (how much luck do those fuckwads get?), but otherwords I was way off.

In my defense, Mexico DID outplay Argentina (going so far as scoring a goal for them) and really only lost as punishment for numbnuttery, the Netherlands DID spank Portugal (and the other way around), but I didn't mean it literally, and Australia DID shock Italy (speaking of lucky fuckwads).

I was utterly wrong about the Ukraine/Switz and Spain/France.

As to the Ghana game: the Ghana defenders, in at least two of the goal moments and during several almost-a-goals, just totally disappeared. It was as if they had somewhere more important they suddenly had to be. Ghana's schizophrenic play, and Brazil's "easy" victory despite being outplayed up and down the field, caused Birgit to bring up the possiblity of cash changing hands. I think there may be something to that.

So, First round 25 and 23, second round 4 and 4.

I am 29 and 27, if that is possible.

Quarterfinal predictions, for what they are worth . . .

Germany will play the Argentina that played Mexico, and will win.
England really has to lose sooner or later, and as much as I doubt Portugal's fortitude, it will have to be them.
Ugh. pUkraine versus shItaly. Can they both lose? pUkraine will win.
And France versus Brazil? Man. It don't get easy, this pickin. I'll say France has found its form. Ugh.

Did I mention that I'm going to Berlin?

(On baseball: I think the Cubs are paying the Pirates to keep them out of last place)

2006-06-25T20:38:00.000+02:00

I listened to the England-Ecuador game on the radio because it was being shown on a channel I don't have. I'm glad I didn't watch. It sucked. England sucks. If they manage to get much further it is a damned shame. Let's look at their goals:

1. own goal by Paraguay
2. cheating goal against Trinidad (the hair pulling)
3. a good goal against Trinidad
4. two decent goals against Sweden (allowing two as well)
5. a free kick by Beckham against Ecuador.

Weak.

Oh and, the Cubs suck ass.

2006-06-25T00:27:00.000+02:00

I have to make a grudging admission: I don't really know all that much about how the World Cup works. See, I said that Mexico would win the whole deal, but they just lost to Argentina. My problem is, I thought this was the "lose to Argentina" round, so it doesn't count. But it seems that it does count. So, I don't know how they can do it now. I mean, win.

If, somehow, the Mexicans (who have now taken over the bodies of some other team via a funky Aztec/ Tarahumara/ Olmec/ Maya/ Huichole ceremony), should go on to win, it will likely be in a German uniform. Don't be shocked.

2006-06-24T11:21:00.000+02:00

It appears that I was 25 and 23 (26 and 22 if you count the England/Paraguay result in my favor). So. There's that.

SECOND ROUND PREDICTIONS
Germany will beat Sweden
Mexico will upset Argentina
England will squeak by Ecuador
the Netherlands will spank Portugal
Australia will shock Italy
Brazil will struggle with, but defeat, Ghana
the Ukraine will stomp Switzerland
Spain will kill France

2006-06-24T10:11:00.000+02:00

I would have blogged, honest, but I've been terribly busy. See, I have been struggling to balance work and the World Cup, and have therefore had very little me time.

I will say this, though: it is really a big load of fun to be around all the brouhaha. I've watched several matches on the big screen at the public viewing area in Dortmund (where I work), one on the big screen in the garden of one of the big companies where I teach, several in my local bar, and one or two at home. I've also missed several due to work (including the first and third US games: I saw the US-Italy game at a party).

The big news is that I'm going to go to Berlin with some friends for the final. We won't actually be at the game, but we will be in amongst the fans. Or rather, I *might* not be at the game: I continue to work an angle on a ticket to a match, because I know someone with access to assorted tickets. So, something may work out.

You can see my first round predictions below, so you know that I was less than fully accurate. It is useless to promise a game by game reaction, so I'll just give you the following:

I AM IMPRESSED BY
Argentina, obviously, but I do not fear them.
Germany, obviously.
The Netherlands.
Spain.
Ghana.
Ecuador.
Australia.

I AM NOT IMPRESSED BY
France, Switzerland, Italy, England, Sweden, and Portugal

I AM DISAPPOINTED IN
Mexico and Ukraine

I HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS ABOUT
Brazil: they looked tired and bored in the first two games, and seem only to have woken up after the Japanese goal. I think the monster may now be out of the cage, but they are still not the favorite in my book.

I remain true to Mexico out of pure stubbornness, but I may have to change after today.

I will miss the US, Trinidad, and Koreateam. And, of course, Tobago.

2006-06-18T23:37:00.000+02:00

KOREA TEAM FIGHTING!

Brazil team needing a good ass kicking.

USA TEAM FIGHTING!

Details to follow at some point.

2006-06-16T11:58:00.000+02:00

The Gallivantings of Daniel Franklin: Cupblogging with pictures!

2006-06-16T10:46:00.000+02:00

Well. What a week it has been.

On Tuesday the health department came into Birgit's classroom and informed her that 1) one of her fifth graders has the measles, 2) the whole class will now be tested and must wait at home for the results, 3) all teachers with contact to the kid have to do the same, 4) by "at home" they mean "in your house and nowhere else" and 5) the results won't be available until Monday. So Birgit is my prisoner! Tuesday afternoon the doorbell rang and she opened up. Two women with information material and whatnot came up the stairs and said "Oh! We're glad to find you at home!" Birgit figured they were from the health department, checking up on her, so she was cool. Then they said "We have really just one question: Do you believe in Jeebus?" HA!

I seem to be on my own recognizance, despite the fact that if B has it then I probably do to: the health authorities didn't ask if I had been immunized [I have].

And now, your World Cupdate:

I had to work Monday, so I missed Australia's surprise win over Japan (3-1, incorrectly predicted the other way around by me) and the US getting drubbed by the Czechs (3-0, ditto). A word on the Czech win: they were without their #1 striker, and the US has Casey the Killer Keller anchoring what I thought was a solid defense. I figured it was reasonable for the US to score a freak goal and then close down for a win. Ahem.

After the train delays got sorted out and I took a detour train through Essen, I met up with some friends in time for the second half of the Italy-Ghana game (2-0). My understanding is that the first half was really fun to watch, but I thought the second half was pretty good, too. Ghana looks like a really good team except for in one fundamental aspect: they seem averse to being anywhere close to the opponent's goal before shooting. I mean, they were shooting from 50 yards out! And STILL going over the goal! They were often closer on corner kicks, for crying out loud. I joked that they should have stayed home and shot from there, for all the good it was doing.

South Korea 2 versus Togo 1 (KOREA TEAM FIGHTING back from 0-1 against a Togo team whose coach quit last week, then rejoined them a day or so before this game! I picked Koreateam, and I was working while the game was being played)

France 0 versus Switzerland 0 (wrong again, Greg, and working again)

Brazil 1 versus Croatia 0 (correct!). I saw this game down at my corner bar and had the bittersweet experience of watching a BORING Brazil team. Listless? Dude, they were playing the harpsichord! I wouldn't be surprised if the Aussies or Japannies slap that smile off their faces, but I am honor bound not to change my predictions.

Spain 4(!!!) versus Ukraine 0(!!!). I got that one hella rong. Due to fortuitous cancellations, I was able to watch this on the big screen in the public viewing area in Dortmund. Dude. Spain looks awesome all of a sudden. Be afraid.

Saudi Arabia and Tunisia kissed their sisters*. I didn't watch. I picked Tunisia.

Germany 1 versus Poland 0. I was there, in front of the big screen, surrounded by many thousands of Poles and Germans. Awesome atmosphere, awesome game. A bit of
unpleasantness on the fringes (the biggest part of that happened around 50-100 yards from me, by the way, and I didn't notice), but cool. I was there with Holger. Our friend Annette wanted into the area, too, but by the time she got there it was full and she was stuck outside of it. Then some Polish fans, in frustration, started smashing beer bottles (as one does). Annette thought quickly and allowed a piece of glass to skip off the pavement and gash her calf. This meant she needed medical attention and so was allowed in. Genius!
Hazel was there with guests from the Engalond, and afterwards we went out on the town a bit. Got home just before dawn.

Ecuador 3 versus Costa Rica 0 (wrong of me): Ecuador may have something. Germany should be able to handle them but who knows? I watched on TV at home. So tired. So very tired.

The Engalond 2 versus Soca Warriors 0 (right of me): Crouch pulled the Trini defenders pony tail when he went up for that header. He is now on my shit list. The Engalond suck donkey balls. TV. House. Tired.

Sweden 1 versus Paraguay 0 (right of me): not much to report here. I now want Sweden to beat the piss out of the Engalond, but I fear they would have a hard time beating the piss out of a big bag of piss. TV. House. Tired. Drifted off a couple of times.

What will today bring us? Argentina will beat Serbia in Gelsenkirchen, the Netherlands will beat the Ivory Coast (I wish I hadn't predicted that) in Stuttgart, and your 2006 World Champion Mexico will defeat Angola in Hanover. I will be hooking up with some Mexicans, I think, for that one.

If you look at this post you will see my overall first round Cup predictions in tatters.

* Paul "Bear" Bryant, legendary coach of the University of Alabama Crimson Tide football team, is alleged to have said that a tie is like kissing your sister: it feels ok, but it doesn't mean much.

2006-06-11T22:59:00.000+02:00

Portugual 1, Angola 0. I am now 4 and 3.
I "watched" this game on the Fifa live ticker dealie on the Fifa website.

2006-06-11T20:47:00.000+02:00

Mexico 3, Iran 1. Another correct prediction (I am now 3-3)
I was the only "fan" in the bar (others were just watching).
I must confess to having said "Puta Madre!" after Iran's goal, which is a very anti-woman thing to say. I should have said something like "Maldicion!" or "Chingadre!"

Pinche Iran. Yo soy Mexicano, egual que tu.

2006-06-11T16:04:00.000+02:00

A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT TO ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN WONDERING WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH ME (in terms of lack of posting) OR ANYONE WHO IS CURIOUS AT ALL ABOUT THE HUGE GAP BETWEEN THIS POST AND THE PREVIOUS ONE: Back in December/January, I determined that I would write a letter to my brother. This determination was the result of a significant amount of pressure from my mother. My problem was that I didn't have the foggiest notion of what I wanted to say to the man. So I agonized over it. This turned into stress. The stress increased. I soon found myself unable to do much of anything writing-related because I hadn't yet written the letter. In no particular order, this cascaded into: me not writing some things I wanted to do for work; me staying off the chat program I was usually on; me not answering emails; me rarely checking emails; me not looking at this blog; me avoiding friends' blogs (because they might see my ip address and realize that I was online but silent and might get offended); me not turning to the telephone as a substitute for writing friends. I got it into my head that, after waiting so long to say anything, only a long and elaborate apology written on paper and mailed would be a fitting solution. Then I got into another spiral about writing that. Blah, blah, blah, depressioncakes. Long story short, I'm getting over it. I did write the letter to my brother, and have now sent out a few short emails and made a couple of phone calls. Sorry. NOW, however, I'm suffering from an acute case of footballitis. See, I live really close to three World Cup stadia (Gelsenkirchen, Cologne, and Dortmund [I work in Dortmund]). I really should blog about it. I can't get blogger to cooperate at the moment, so a linkdump will have to wait (I've got some good ones), but I will tell you what I've been up to as far as the tournament is concerned. 9 June: Germany 4 versus Costa Rica 2 (in Munich), Poland 0 versus Ecuador 1 (in Gelsenkirchen) I watched these games at my former neighbors' house. It was really nice. We sat out in the garden and watched and drank lots of beer (some nerds watched inside the house on the big projected screen, but smoking wasn't allowed in there). One of our hosts is from Scotland and I am from the US, and we were the foreign contingent (repri Zent!). A drunken old fellow sitting next to me learned, after a while, that I was from the US and decided he wanted to talk politics (or rather, he decided that he'd like to harangue Bush, the US government, the US, all Americans, and everything related to the US in any way [but he was careful not to actually shit down my throat, which was nice of him]). Mixed in with this were his variations on the theme of "I'm not really a soccer fan . . .", to which I was tempted to shout BUT I FUCKING WELL AM SO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID OLD FUCK! Fortunately, I was Raised Right, so I managed to slowly steer him towards the notion that only an ignorant turd would think the way he does, and that he should realize that however much he may disapprove of certain things about the US, he should step the fuck off when it comes to condemning all the many hundreds of millions of Americans (living and dead and yet to be born) and all their works, lest he one day find himself sitting next to a drunk one who is trying to watch a fucking soccer game in peace. As far as the games are concerned: I correctly predicted that Germany would win and incorrectly predicted that Poland would win. I am now convinced, without statistics, that Germany scores more when playing without their captain, Ballack (he was slightly injured and sat out the game). 10 June: England 1 versus Paraguay 0 (in Frankfurt), Sweden 0 versus Trinidad & Tobago 0 (in Dortmund), Argentina 2 versus the Ivory Coast 1 (in Hamburg) Two friends (Kirsten and Holger) and I went to Dortmund to hang around for these games. The city was slam full of festive fans from all over the world. I wore my Mexico jersey and was saluted for coming to Germany (heh). We hung out with a colleague of mine, Colin, who is English and lives in Dortmund (he wore a shirt and hat in support of his hometown Liverpool FC and bought an English flag to be provocative). Colin went home. Then we rode a ferris wheel. Then we watched the England/Paraguay game on a huge screen in one of the squares. Then Kirsten went home. Then Holger and I followed the red carpet which leads from the city center out to the stadium (around 2 miles walk). We watched the Sweden/Trinidad game on a huge screen in the Westfallenhalle (a big concert/basketball type arena) next to the stadium with hundreds of Swedes and Trinis. It was an awesome atmosphere and an awesome game. Much better than Eng/Par (which sucked, and England looks weak). Then we went back to the city center. We met some nice Swedish fans who had been in the stadium and were feeling low (Sweden should have won but didn't), one of whom gave me a button that reads "Vi är svenska fans allihopa" (which means, roughly, "We are Sweden fans, no matter what"). Then we watched Arg/IC on the city center big screen. Then we saw some Trinis performing a concert sponsored by Angostura (a Trini rum brand). We drank the whole day. Then we took the train home. It was a good day. 11 June: Sebia & Montenegro versus Netherlands (in Leipzig), Mexico versus Iran (in Nuremburg), Angola versus Portugal (in Cologne) SEE PREDICTIOINS BELOW I am currently watching the live ticker on the Fifa website for the Serbia/Netherlands game (Netherlands 1-0 at halftime) and will watch the others at my local bar. HERE ARE, BY THE WAY, MY FIRST ROUND PREDICTIONS. I'm only doing this round by round, and I don't predict scores (so I won't guess group 1st and 2nd). I made these predictions as soon as the bracket was set and filed them with a colleague. I would change them based on some things I've since learned, but that wouldn't be in the spirit of wild prognostication. GROUP A Germany defeats Costa Rica CORRECT Poland defeats Ecuador INCORRECT Germany and Poland tie Costa Rica defeats Ecuador Germany defeats Ecuador Poland defeats Costa Rica GROUP B England and Paraguay tie INCORRECT TECHNICALLY, but it was an own-goal for Paraguay Sweden defeats Trinidad & Tobago INCORRECT England defeats Trinidad & Tobago Sweden defeats Paraguay Paraguay defeats Trinidad & Tobago Sweden defeats England GROUP C Argentina defeats Ivory Coast CORRECT Netherlands defeats Serbia & Montenegro Argentina defeats Serbia & Montenegro Netherlands defeats Ivory Coast Argentina defeats Netherlands Serbia & Montenegro defeats Ivory Coast GROUP D Mexico defeats Iran Portugal defeats Angola Mexico defeats Angola Iran defeats Portugal Mexico defeats Portugal Iran defeats Angola GROUP E United States defeats Czech Republic Italy defeats Ghana Czech Republic defeats Ghana Italy and the United States tie Italy defeats Czech Republic United States defeats Ghana GROUP F Japan defeats Australia Brazil defeats Croatia Croatia defeats Japan Brazil defeats Australia Brazil defeats Japan Australia defeats Croatia GROUP G South Korea defeats Togo Switzerland defeats France South Korea defeats France Switzerland defeats Togo South Korea defeats Switzerland France defeats Togo GROUP H Ukraine defeats Spain Tunisia defeats Saudi Arabia Ukraine defeats Saudi Arabia Spain defeats Tunisia Ukraine defeats Tunisia Spain defeats Saudia Arabia THE OVERALL WINNER, SIMPLY BECAUSE I SAY SO, WILL BE MEXICO. I will update this from time to time.

2006-02-01T20:06:00.000+01:00

I don't know if you have noticed the hubub (or is it a kerfluffle?) over the Danish Muhammad cartoon, but it has prompted some folks living along The Muslim Street to burn Danish flags (I saw it on the teevee), so you know it's a big deal.

- I feel rather confident this is the first time EVER anyone has burned a Danish flag, both because the Danes are not usually ones to attract attention to themselves and because there are precious few Danish flags floating around outside Denmark.
- I suspect that Jøn Såixpåk is rather chuffed to be considered rude, if only indirectly.
- The Caliph has, according to recent reports, recalled Ambassador Banderas to Baghdad for consultation.

Anywho. I reckon that it is generally poor form to go out of ones way to piss someone off and then act all "Gee whiz! Why are you so pissed off?" about it, but I certainly can't accept the idea that being rude about religion is off the table. I suspect that the motive behind these cartoons (which I have not seen) may have been less than honorable, insofar as they sound sorta lame and broad, but will defend, to the death, a cartoonist's right to be an annoying hack.

I also think that if you are the sort of person who would do much more than blink when told what a Danish newspaper published (assuming you don't live in or near Denmark), then you are weird. Burning a Danish flag is a waste of perfectly good fire.

2006-01-30T22:46:00.000+01:00

Scott sent me the TV show Rome for the Late December Celebratory Period, and I got all transfixed. It rocked.

Julius Caesar, by the way, gets stabbed to death, in case you are squeamish about things like that. Fair warning.

What did I learn about Bibledays from watching Rome? Well. I learned a great deal. Oxen, for example, are big. Or rather, BIG. Way bigger than cows. I would be willing to bet that oxen taste as awesome as they look.

MEANWHILE, IN GERMANY (where I live) . . . um. Well. I watched the TV show Rome. And, um, the Romans used to control large chunks of the place. And I could hop on a train and be within a few steps of Roman ruins in about 45 minutes.

2006-01-21T20:52:00.000+01:00

Carlton (who is but a click away for those looking to the right side of the screen) recently posted regarding the kerfluffle surrounding Iran's newkillar program. I will add a couple of cents.

I am opposed to Iran pursuing either newkillar weapons or newkillar power. The weapons bug me because they are designed (and can, so far as I know, only be used in such a way as) to kill large numbers of civillians quickly. I don't cotton to killing as a general rule, but reserve a special scorn for those who would knowingly kill non-soldiers. The newkillar power bugs me because, so far at least, there is no use which doesn't set large chunks of the earth up for thousands of years of less-than-ideal radiation exposure (accidental, of course).

[An interesting aside: I was having a chat with a fellow I teach (an engineer for a large German energy firm) and I asked him why, as a matter of engineering, we couldn't build newkillar plants deep underground. He thought about it a bit and said that he couldn't imagine physical problems. Money, of course, is the problem. So thousands of years of nastiness in exchange for some profit/savings now. Good, eh?]

So, I stand here, high atop anti-nuke mountain, and can (and must) present what is perhaps an impractical but nevertheless deeply-felt position statement: ain't NOBODY got no business with newkillar weapons or newkillar power. It follows from this that no state with newkillar weapons or using newkillar power is in any moral or ethical position to tell another they can't have them. I suspect that Iran (at least under its current government) would rank high on any list of countries likely to get up to no good, but we shouldn't get too situational on issues of such import. Therefore, anti-proliferation efforts should be dropped in favor of anti-newkillar efforts.

Not gonna happen, of course. And so world politics sinks deeper into the mud.

MEANWHILE, IN GERMANY (where I live) . . . the Chancellor (Angela Merkel) has surprised many by not sucking ass. Two examples: 1) During the recent Russia/Ukraine gas-supply controversy, Angie stepped forward to make it clear that her government has no intention of changing plans to go off of newkillar power once and for all as soon as the current stations reach the end of their operational lives. Good. And surprising. 2) While visiting with Dubyah, Angie took the opportunity to mildly but clearly register her disapproval of the Guantanamo (and G-style) prison(s). Dubyah, of course, promptly made it clear that he doesn't give two shits what she thinks.

Also of note is the fact that temperatures here will soon compare nicely with both witches tits and grave/well-diggers' assholes. The good news is that I will get to wear my black fuzzy hat (too warm for temps near freezing). The bad news is that I will have to wear my black fuzzy hat.

2006-01-06T20:55:00.000+01:00

Lou Rawls has died.

"You'll Never Find (Another Love Like Mine)" is just an awesome song. It is so awesome that it prompted me to accumulate 25 other Lou Rawls songs.

They, um, range in quality from not awesome to awesomly unawesome. But that one song. Man. Awesome.

Rest in peace, Mr Rawls. I'm gonna miss your lovin' (so to speak).

MEANWHILE, IN GERMANY (where I live) . . . [a new feature on this blog]

I don't mean to give away state secrets (so I will stay on the vague side), but a fellow I teach works for a big American company that sells things to a HUGE American retailer. Said retailer has had a notoriously (at least among those who follow such things) shitty run of things since entering the German market. This year has been no different. In fact, it's been REALLY bad, sales wise, I'm given to understand, this past year.

Happy Happy. Joy Joy.

The big retailer is one you know if you live in North America, by the way. They recently built a new center which is known as "super" right up against the Teotihuacan pyramid complex near Mexico City. Bastards.

They are finding Euros harder to come by than Pesos and Dollars, at least.

2006-01-03T19:03:00.000+01:00

So many things have happened lately that I've just hit a blogjam. Or not. In any event, I considered breaking the silence to post regarding the fellow who got a visit from the Man after having requested Mao's Lil Red Book through interlibrary loan. I had the following thoughts about the story:

* Should this spark a trend, and should the Man come ask about my own copy of the Lil, I will take great pleasure in reporting that I bought my copy at a yard sale at the American Embassy Association's library in Bonn, Germany, back in 1997 or so.

* I have yet to see anyone comment on the real tip off that the Man is snooping: the fact that the kid got his ILL book before the end of the semester.

But I held back on posting.

And the Man put his contingency plan in motion. The kid claimed that his story was all a hoax.

Right. Sure. What EVER.

But you suckers all bought it, didn't you?

Well shudder in your gulliboots, losers, because now it turns out that he's come forward (actually identifying himself now) and said that not only is that "hoax" story itself a hoax, but that he was actually detained and interrogated! You should be able to find out more here (you'll need to translate it from German).

Oh, and Happy Holidays! This week will see Orthodox Christmas and Three Kings Day, among others.

[edited on said holiday so as to put the text into the correct order]

2005-11-28T21:47:00.000+01:00

I totally forgot to add something to my most recent post. Totally.

I understand that certain elements of the Christo-fascist Zombie Brigades of the Neo-con Death Cult (tm Marc Maron of "Morning Sedition") have decided to beat the "War on Christmas" drum again this year.

Two things.

1) Old Yurp is on the side of the Devil in this case. Try as you might, you will be hard pressed to get a Merry Christmas out of a local on the Yurpeen mainland. Evil.

2) Maybe the Faschos are on to something with this WoC schtick. I was thinking back and recalled that, as a college lecturer and high school teacher, I made a conscious decision to say "have a good break!" and "how was your break?" and suchlike instead of any variation on the words Christmas OR Holidays (and don't get me started on Easter). What's more, I did this solely to avoid encouraging the folks to think of it in terms of religion, because I am an evangelical atheist. Mwuhahahahahahah!

2005-11-28T21:14:00.000+01:00

Some parts of western Yurp, as you may know, got a good bit of snow over the last few days. Here is my report from the scene: The good news about driving a Mr Bean-style Mini in heavy snow is that it handles well and gets good traction. The bad news is that it sits *really* low. I gave the middle of the road a light plowing this morning with my front bumper.

In other, only slightly-less-light news, I learned today that a final decision has been made and that Air America Radio's "Morning Sedition" program will soon be dead. That sucks. I really like that show.

I started listening to AAR on its very first day. "M.S." started out a bit slow, to my mind, because there were some chemistry and role-playing issues (the original line up included Sue Ellicot, who left relatively quickly), but it hooked me pretty early on. I also loved (and preferred, I think) "Unfiltered". That got killed a few months ago. It was replaced by Jerry Springer (who I find unlistenable).

I'm not sure what's going on with AAR. I hope they are making these decisions (the ones related to my two favorite shows) based on ratings information to which I'm not privy (and in which I have no real interest). I fear they aren't, though. I also wonder what's going to happen after Franken leaves (assuming he runs for the senate) and Garafalo (who annoys me the more I hear her) acts.

Two odd innovations of late do not bode well. One is that they have you register to listen. Or rather, they did. I've only had to enter my password once (perhaps it remembers my IP address: in the interim I have installed a new browser). The other is that they have started playing "Dueling Banjos", the theme from "Hawaii Five-O", the ballerina song from the 70s (that piano number), the theme from "Chariots of Fire", and other old public domain tunes as filler music when they don't have ads. Even worse, they play the same ads over and over (which, back when I was in the radio business, meant "we ain't makin' no money") and even *worse*, they sometimes just play the songs bookended with ads (no content at all).

I'm not yet at the point of swearing off AAR, but I do vow to stop buying Flexofactor, SmokeFree, term life insurance, Trinity debt relief, and Funny Times magazine. If they fuck with me, I'll delink them!

On a not-unrelated note, what's the deal with Sarah Silverman all of a sudden? She seems to be the "it" girl for left leaners. I must have come across 5 or 6 extended comments on Silverman lately, and all of them involve some sort of "should we be laughing?" handwringing. Seems a bit silly to me. It ain't like she's reinvented the wheel or anything (see Cho, Rickles, Pryor, Kennison, the Diceman, Diller, Rivers, Bruce, et al).

2005-11-21T21:00:00.000+01:00

The hubub surrounding this Congressman Murtha fellow and the related calls for a swift US-military withdrawal has prompted me to say the following. If you don't care, look away.

The "phased withdrawal" and "don't cut and run" crowd (which includes mainstream liberals of the Al Franken variety) argue, essentially, that by leaving too quickly the US would send "the wrong message" to the bad guys (i.e., those who are shooting at US troops). This message, presumably, would be that if you shout, shoot, stomp, bomb, and scream enough that you want the US to fuck off, they might fuck off. This would be wrong, because the US reserves the right to fuck off at its leisure. It will stay where it is, even if it shouldn't be there, and do what it does, even if it is wrong or not working, for "as long as it takes", even if it doesn't think it can get IT done. This is what they call resolve.

This is resolve has a proud history. Such resolve was shown by the French and US in Vietnam, the French in Algeria and elswhere, the Brits all over the world, me in my relationship with my first serious girlfriend, and the post-Alexander Greeks in Palestine (ever heard of the Maccabees?). It continues to be shown by the Turks in Kurdistan, the Russians in Chechnya, the Indians and Pakistanis in Kashmir, everybody who has ever been in Afghanistan (including some Afghans), and Michael Jackson.

The US should have no troops in Iraq, save (perhaps) a Marine contingent at the embassy. It should never have had troops in Iraq. It should get them out ASAP (and P starts now). There are a buhgillion reasons for this, and I hold out hope that most honest people agree to this, deep down inside.

But it is academic, really. I don't think the US will pull its troops out until there is no other alternative. I, unlike many who lament the lack of an "exit strategy", don't think the Dubyah administration ever intended to pull the troops out. Of COURSE there is no exit strategy. The troops were not supposed to exit, and they won't so long as there is any way they can stay.

But you know that. Everyone knows that.

2005-11-17T18:17:00.000+01:00

Chris secretly returned (sorta) to maintaining his blog. If you click the Chris link, you will no longer be directed to a porn site (which was the case for some time). Chris is much more fun to look at than naked people though. So. You know.

2005-11-13T10:45:00.000+01:00

I was just checking out Orcinus, one of many blogs with which I'm unfamiliar, and noticed that he has written quite a bit about a certain Michelle Malkin.

Since I've chased away my reader, now is probably a bad time to ask this, but I must: who the fuck is Michelle Malkin? I mean, beyond being a conservative TV show guest (that much I gathered). I've seen her name mentioned all over lefty blogs for the last few months and am forced to wonder if she is really a big deal or if she is, in fact, a small deal being talked big by hyperventillating lefty bloggers. Is she a looming threat to all that is good and proper? Is she corrupting the utes? Or is she simply another in the seemingly endless line of TV Nazi fembots and this is much ado about nothing?

_________________________________________________

It seems that a fellow I grew up near and went to school with from 1st through 12th grade has killed himself. These things happen, of course, but this guy is a bit of a special case for me. Long story short, he was my town/milieu/gang/grade's Jeremy (in the Pearl Jam sense). I probably could have helped him avoid trouble but didn't and I participated a bit in making his life more unpleasant than it had to be (although I was also, I think, one of his friends).

To the extent that the unhappiness he must have felt before killing himself was in any way influenced by my action/inaction, I am mortified.

(A proper thing to do would be to mention his name at this point, but since Mr. Google is short on references to the fellow I'll not do so. I wouldn't want to go spreading what, it appears, is something of a secret.)

2005-11-12T15:26:00.000+01:00

I’ve been waiting for some time now and it appears that, finally, the traffic to this blog has died down. See, I have a (self-diagnosed) fear of success. If you knew enough about me you would know that I have a tendency to hit the brakes right before I get to the top of a mountain. Like, there was that time when I . . . well. Ok. Maybe not. I never have been near the top of a mountain. I DO, however, have a fear of doing things just because they are expected of me, like keeping up with the blog.

But bloggable things have crossed my mind.

I didn’t blog about the super-bloggable Harriet Meiereseres nomination. Reckon why?

I didn’t blog about the firey uprising in France, which you may as well call the “Citroen/Renault/Peugeot Bailout Burnout Act of 2005” (because it does represent a lot of new cars being bought soon).

I didn’t blog about my imprisioned sibling.

I didn’t blog about the recent US election.

I didn’t finish my German election update blogging. Germany still exists, by the way, and seems not to need much of a government.

I didn’t blog about recent acts of the Intelligent Designer.

I didn’t blog, in short, about the month of October (and some of September and November).

And the world continues to turn.

2005-09-21T21:02:00.000+02:00

I have no idea how it's playing in the US media, but in case it isn't coming through, check out Dave Lindorff's the Real Story of the German Elections. It's pretty much on the money.

Basically, Germany is struggling with a transition towards US-style capitalism. It is far from there yet and it may not stay on that path. One piece of evidence in the struggle is the 11% unemployment figure Lindorff, sadly, repeats without analysis.

Basically, around half of the unemployed in Germany are in what used to be the German Democratic Republic (i.e. East Germany). Most of the rest are concentrated in pockets like the Ruhr region (near me, basically). Most of the unemployed are in their 40s or older. Most of the unemployed, in other words, are folks who used to work for the steel, coal, and similar heavy industries. Their jobs are gone. Their jobs will never come back. There is next to nothing any government can do short of forcing these folks to go work for Taco Bell (I say that because of Michael Moore's AWESOME "Roger and Me"). Since Germany has no Taco Bells, we have a problem.

Only the Linkspartei, by the way, and the handful of other far left parties have really talked about this.

Merkel is done anyway, I reckon. I can't imagine how she will form a government. I still think Schröder will pull one out of his ass.

2005-09-19T06:46:00.000+02:00

Dude. The German election has funky results. BBC NEWS has good coverage in ze englisch.

Here's a crazy thought: SPD and Greens, as before, with special guest . . . the Christian Social Union (CSU). This is the Bavarian branch of the main conservative party but it is a separate party with slightly different intersts, goals, and power structures. Its leader (Edmund Stoiber) wants power and is no big fan of Merkel or Westerwelle.

It just. Might. Work.

Not that it would be good, mind you.

2005-09-18T13:59:00.000+02:00

You have got to be kidding me:

How the penguin's life story inspired the US religious right

What is going on?

In other news: the German election is underway. Votes are being cast. The results will come in this evening (except for the Dresden area, which will be delayed because a candidate died two weeks ago). Exciting?

2005-09-14T20:33:00.000+02:00

I have mentioned to Birgit, on more than one occaision, that I have this here blog. She never thought about it until today, though, and has just looked at it the first time. She was not pleased by the fact that I don't say much about her and say nothing much about us. She isn't mollified by my point that this isn't much of a diary. So I posted the thing below, in the hope that she would realize that my lack of Birgit-related material has nothing to do with her and everything to do with the nature of this forum. It didn't work. She just now mocked me, as she sashayed back from the kitchen with grapes in her hand, with the remark "I love grapes".

So. She can kiss my ass.

I do love her, though.

2005-09-14T20:31:00.000+02:00

I love Birgit.

2005-09-12T18:47:00.000+02:00

I should add, lest ye doubt my German election prediction, that I correctly predicted that someone would win the Japanese election. Also, I predict that we will have a result in the Norwegian election.

2005-09-12T17:15:00.000+02:00

I've said this to several folks and so I may as well say it with the puter:

the SPD/Green coalition will win the election on 18 September. They will not only win, but they will also increase their majority from 3 seats to 10.

So there.

Basically, the recent polls indicate that things are going Schröder's way, but I'm thinking beyond the polls. I think that the average German political commentator (with whom I am far out of step on this) is thinking in terms of *parties* rather than personalities. I think Germany has made a quiet but clear transition from party politics to personality politics and, therefore, think the strong personalities of Schröder (SPD) and Fischer (Green) will push them over the weaker personality of Merkel (CDU). The FDP leader (Westerwelle) has been all but absent from the tv campaign, for some reason, and this hurts the conservative coalition chances.

(I suspect Westerwelle is laying low in no small part because, as an openly gay man, he's afraid of driving away the far right types his party courts now and then.)

So. You heard it here first.

2005-09-07T22:08:00.000+02:00

Awesome. Scott McClellan, the Mouth of Sauron, apparently said today, in response to Fidel Castro's offer of help for Katrina victims, that the U.S. wishes Castro would offer freedom to his people.

This reminds me. There's a legend that when the Moscow subway was completed in the 50s the Soviets invited a team of engineers and architects from the West to check it out. It was awesome: well-planned, beautiful, big, everything. Finally, a visitor from the U.S. said "this is incredible! Better than any i've ever seen! I do have one question, though: where are all the passengers?" The Soviet host snapped back: "But, but, but IN THE SOUTH YOU HAVE LYNCHING!"

2005-09-07T07:33:00.000+02:00

I gather that part of the bureaucratic and political strategy for avoiding responsibility for the New Orleans debacle is to repeat the "no one could have anticipated" line. Sure, most reasonably educated folks aren't going to buy it, and no one who lived anywhere near New Orleans would, but there is a sucker born every minute and that's the audience.

If you want to talk to such folks, point not to the N.O. Times Picayune articles of last year. Point not to the special report in National Geographic magazine a few years ago. Point rather to this:

National Geographic's Cyclone! (1996)

It is a nice little documentary film about hurricanes and tornadoes and explains how they work, what they do, and what they have done. The benediction is a computer animated look at the "nightmare scenario": New Orleans hit straight on by a decent-sized hurricane. In the video you can see film of what happened last week.

The film is 9 years old.

I taped my copy off television back in the day. I was living in Hattiesburg, Mississppi, at the time.

In related news, I have heard Barbara Bush comment that it is "scary" that so many of the refugees are contemplating staying in Texas and that they've got it pretty good there in the shelters. Given that Bar is and was always a perfect symbol of the ruling class, grandmotherly propaganda notwithstanding, I will only comment as follows:

1) The refugees have been traumatized and are so desperate that they think Houston is nice, and that IS scary.
2) (but seriously) Last night on German TV a young woman and her daughter both said that they were happier in the shelters than in N.O., because in the shelters they were surrounded by people who CARED WHETHER THEY LIVED OR DIED, unlike in N.O., where it was every man for himself. This I take as a comment on the abject poverty they left behind. Fuck Barbara Bush BUT it really is true that there are lots of people in the US for whom a cot on the floor of the fucking Astrodome and a bag of MREs is puttin' on the Ritz. And that is a crime.

2005-09-04T22:42:00.000+02:00

Well.

I found out from Chris that our friend Marie and her family (recently of Slidel, Louisiana) are alive and staying with another friend, Adrienne, in Birmingham. That's good news. The bad news is, unsurprisingly, that they have lost everything.

I just turned on the itunes and the first song up was "Jambalaya (on the Bayou)" by Hank Williams. The second song? "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey.

The German chancellor, Gerhard Schröder, just had a debate with his challenger, Angela Merkel. I think he beat her pretty bad, but I'm not sure how the average German will take it. One interesting thing from the debate was that, given the chance, Merkel was unable to bring herself to comment in any way about what is happening in the US right now, whereas Schröder used it to make a point about the need for a robust and decisive government. Another thing was that Schröder clearly ruled out any chance of a coalition with the new left party (die Linke). This means he's gambling on an absolute victory. He's bold, I'll give him that.

2005-09-04T13:14:00.000+02:00

It could be that Google News is purposely hiding the story about how the Vatican has taken a hand in providing massive aid to the victims (enter Katrina and Pope in the search field). Benny the Rat did say that he is praying for them, though.

There are, ahem, lots of Catholics in the stricken region. I'm sure the prayers make them feel better.

When I contemplate how much money was spent on World Youth Day recently here in Germany (Cologne) and contrast it with how much doesn't seem to be being spent on the Katrina victims I feel bile rising.

2005-09-01T22:29:00.000+02:00

Obviously the scathing was much worse than original reports indicated. In fact, Scott just pointed out to me that even Hattiesburg, Mississippi (home of the University of Southern Mississippi, which granted me diplomae), is fucked. I checked the local "newspaper" (the Hattiesburg American) two days ago and things didn't look so bad. This would not be the first time that sad rag has been a bit off.

So.

And now the Guardian is reporting that Fats Domino is missing.

The more I find out the more angry and sad I get. Heads must roll for this. Attention must be paid.

2005-08-30T23:31:00.000+02:00

So. New Orleans got by with less of a scathing than I had feared (far, of course, from unscathed), but the Mississippi (and, to a lesser extent, Alabama) coasts got hammered, it seems. Spare a thought for the folks of "the coast" (as we used to call it in Hattiesburg).

I have to say that, bullshit aside, I would have evacutated. No car, no bus, no one to hitch with? No nothing? I. Would have. Walked. North.

Having said that, would it have killed the Man to roll around with buses and said "get in!" rather than just saying "find a way out!"? I think not. The Man should feel guilty.

In other news, Scott ("I know what I know", at right) prompts us for our worst first day of teaching. Here is (not) mine.

Today I had my first meeting with a group of three folks I'm taking over from a colleague who is out with the baby-having disease. I shudder at the realization that they will be mine for the indefinite future. Why? Well. I will recreate a "conversation" with the students which I exaggerate for effect:

ME: "My name is Greg."
THEM: blank stares, the sound of crickets chirping even though we are on the sixth floor.
ME: "Ummmm, I am Greg. [gesturing to self with hand] My name is Greg. Greg is my name."
THEM: blank stares, the sound of crickets chirping even though we are on the sixth floor.
ME: "OK. Ich heiße Greg. My name is Greg."
THEM: "Ohhhhhh!" [write, write, write]

These folks are, shall we say, beginners.

These folks are precisely the sort of folks I was thinking of when I said to myself and others, at one point, that I would rather tie on a pecker and go peck shit with the chickens than to teach a language.

Sigh.

2005-08-28T22:36:00.000+02:00

For those who care, here is your German election update:

The trends have continued and it now seems pretty clear that there is a real chance of an SPD-Green-Linke coalition government (should the three be willing to cooperate). Things may look different tomorrow because as I type this Oscar Lafontaine (of the Linke) is having a tv debate (sorta, more a moderated conversation) with Friedrich Merz (CDU finance smart guy). I am not watching, but Birgit is and said that she isn't sure that Lafontaine is coming off well.

An interesting facet of this campaign is that the CDU is showing more interest in the Linke than the SPD are. Basically, the Linke are running a campaign of (fairly shameless) populism. The CDU is concerned because they were counting on protest voters to turn to them. Their problem is that they think that the SPD "reform" program hasn't gone far enough (lots of voters think it has gone too far, and this is what the Linke are playing to).

There are only a few weeks left, but they will be exciting.

In other news, I see that New Orleans is facing The Big One folks have long feared. I hope they dodge this bullet, but it doesn't look good. I will go ahead and switch to the past tense here and say that I'm sorry for the poor folks who have lost their lives and those who have lost their livelihoods. I also want to say that I'm happy that I got to spend time in New Orleans before the hurricane. Its one of the few cities I've ever visited that gave off a truly organic vibe. By this I mean that the city was/is more than the sum of its parts. I miss it and am saddened by the thought that I may have lost it forever.

Obviously the city itself will survive, but if the hurricane hits it like they think it will, then something fundamental will have changed forever, I fear.

2005-08-23T22:21:00.000+02:00

A couple of months ago I told the story of how my morning commute turned sour. I am actually building up quite a repertoire of train stories, so I reckon I should put more of them in the blog before I forget them.

Most are really anecdotes. For example, there is the one about the clearly-drunk fellow who stumbled around the carriage one afternoon and went up the stairs and out of sight (some of my trains are doubledeckers). A few seconds after his disappearance, I heard what could only have been his urine splattering on some surface not belonging to the bottom of a toilet. I lifted my eyes from my book, exchanged a world-weary glance with a fellow passenger, and moved to another carriage just as the smell hit me.

See? No real story there.

There's also the one about how I got on the wrong train because I was talking on my cell-phone instead of paying attention to the train (mine was to arrive 4 minutes later).

Similarly, I recently got on the wrong train because I was reading instead of paying attention.

Today, however, brought a proper story, which I shall now attempt to relate in a crowd-pleasing fashion.

I boarded the train in Dortmund at 4:09 pm today. This isn't a particularly unusual time for me, but for some reason I had a regular train rather than a doubledecker. This isn't usually an important detail other than the fact that the doubledeckers are quieter and have more comfortable seats. I sat, as is my wont, near the back of the train. This is usually a good strategy for avoiding the riffraff (by which I mean everybody else), who tend to prefer the middle or front. I took my seat in a half empty compartment which featured a lack of people wearing headphones (I hate other people's music more than I hate them). I sat across the aisle from an older fellow.

Just after we got rolling, several folks passed through the compartment on their way a'fore or aft. Most of them, being average people, left the sliding door open after they passed through. You may be surprised to learn that this rarely draws my attention (much less ire). But it TOTALLY pushed Grandpa's buttons. He loudly grumbled about the lack of home-training on display and made a show of closing the door. I grunted my polite agreement, more out of general courtesy for a fellow misanthrope than anything else. I shoudn't have done that, though.

Grandpa saw this as a chance to tell me his story. Suddenly I was living in a John Mellencamp song. Or a Kenny Rogers song. Had Grandpa had a flask he would have taken a swig, wiped it with his tubercular hanky, and insisted I join him. He did not, however. He DID have a story, though. Or rather, lots of stories. None of which contained any wisdom (as they always do in songs).

Grandpa pointed out that our carriage was likely 45 years old, and so not equipped with automatic doors. In fact, he noted, the old carriages are difficult to maintain. They are also, of course, expensive to replace. They will soon be replaced, he's been told, due to next year's World Cup. Yeah. You can't get all that many folks in one of these old babies. What? 100, tops? But in the doubledeckers! Man! You could get 200 in them for sure. Yes sir. Of course (of course) it was all much worse just after The War. Back then the trains were smaller and always full. He once rode from Essen to Stuttgart (a long way) with a guy who climbed up and lay in the luggage net because he didn't want to stand the whole way! And that, of course, is NOTHING compared to what it was like DURING The War. At night, lest they be bombed or strafed, they had to keep the blinds down and instead of -- imagine! -- flourescent lights they had one little black light bulb per carriage. And to further thwart the Allies, the engineer(s?) would abruptly stop the train (to the extent that is possible), and the pursuing plane would fly, briefly, on in search of the train. Eventually the pilot might figure out the score and swing around for another run, but by that time the nearly-invisible train would be rolling again. And tunnels! They would sit in tunnels for hours sometimes.

[I would add, at this point, a train trip he seems to have gone on as a captured soldier after the war. It was REALLY hard to follow this bit of the story, though, and he never paused so that I could ask any questions. A shame, because this seemed like an interesting bit.]

{I WILL add that during the whole trip he harrangued anyone who left the door open, provoking a nasty look from one fella. Grandpa said "Don't you look at me like that you Caveman! Shut the goddamned door!" Funny stuff!}

After the war (when not riding overcrowded trains) he relocated to a sleepy village in Westphalia because his beloved Essen had been bombed to hell. He worked a farm for a while, but although he had plenty to eat it was too boring. He worked 10 years as a coal miner (somewhere: did he say?). Then he went back to Essen and got his commercial driver's license. He then drove down to Spain and picked up shipments of Spanish foodstuffs (fruit and the like) and brought it back up to market in Germany. He did that for 30 (?) years. The interesting part here is how he went into great detail about how he and his partner frequently stole things over the years. A case of oranges here, a Christmas turkey there. Mind you, this was the 60s and 70s (hardly the crisis years after The War). Brazen, he was. And then he retired. And then his friend called to tell him that the company seemed on the verge of bankruptcy and what should he do? Grandpa said "Sell the truck, dude! You've got all the paperwork!" So his friend did. And then his friend wanted a car. His friend asked him to help him pick it out. He picked out a silver _____ with lots of power. He (Grandpa) made a joke about needing to put a license plate underneath so that the cops could read it as he flew over their heads (I don't get it). Years later he saw this guy again and asked about the car. He had a new one now, but he still had the plates underneath (hahahah!)!

And then, as we pulled into Oberbarmen (and reached minute 45 of his non-stop story) he abruptly got up, said he'd see me around, complained to the conductor about people not closing the doors, and got off the train.

2005-08-21T16:22:00.000+02:00

Six months ago, Amelia Hill turned off her telly - for good.

Well whoop de doo!

I watched quite a bit of tv as a kid, but I was also big on playing (outside and inside) and, eventually, reading. I reckon I was a fairly run-of-the-mill working/middle class American boy growing up in the 70s and 80s in terms of total time watched. Still, as I think back I recall that we had one television from my early childhood until the mid 80s (the same one), no vcr until the mid 80s, and no cable until the mid 80s. Never a big screen (indeed, never much more than a medium screen), never satellite. Heck, I've only seen a little HBO in my time.

College pulled me further from the mainstream. Carlton brought a tv into the dorm, so we had one. I suspect we watched it a good bit, but I also know that I was often out running around or (perish the thought) doing schoolwork. This was the situation from the end of summer in 1990 to the start of summer, 1991 (and again from the fall of 91 to the start of summer, 92). In the summer of 91 I worked, so that would have limited me, and I had a girlfriend. On balance, then, I probably didn't watch all that much tv.

In the summer of 92 I moved into a house with Scott and a few other folks. There was a tv in the house, but I can't remember if we had cable at all. I know that for at least part of the time we only had NBC and something else. Then, in the late summer of 93 I left for an exchange program in Germany. I had access to a tv in the dorm common room, but may have only watched it once or twice. So, count that time until February of 94 as essentially tvless.

In the spring of 94 I moved back in with Scott (different house). We again had tv, but I don't think we had cable. In the fall of 94 I was in an apartment by myself. No tv. Some time right before Christmas, I think, I got tired of having no tv and went and charged one and a vcr. So I had tv and cable and a vcr. Until the summer of 95, when I was abroad again. Then, from the fall of 95 to the summer of 96 I was in a lil house with a tv and cable and a vcr. Then, in the fall of 96 I moved to Germany. During the first year I lived in a dorm room and had a tv and cable. Then I moved in with Birgit in late 97 and we had a tv but only two channels.

In the fall of 1998 I returned to the US. For the first several months in my apartment I had one channel (PBS) and a vcr. Then I discovered that I had free cable. That was fine for a few months and then they cut it. In the summer of 1999 I stayed with my folks (cable, tv, and vcr), and in the summer of 2000 I was in Germany with Birgit (tv, two channels). Fall of 2000 brought a different apartment plus cable (to go with my vcr and tv). Then, in the summer of 2001, my agents moved me into a different house (that rocked) while I again visited Birgit.

In the new house, from the fall of 2001 to the summer of 2002, we had cable, THREE tvs, TWO vcrs, and (near the end of my time) a dvd player. Pretty sweet. This period was the peak of my tv life, I think.

Fall of 2002 saw me in Mexico. We had nothing but regular Mexican stations, and so language barriers hindered me. I did watch soccer and the news and, sometimes, other things. We also had a vcr and rented lots of movies.

Fall of 2004 brought me back to Germany. Tv. We had cable for a few months but then the cable company figured out that we shouldn't. So. Now we have two channels. I watch the news, soccer, and a crime drama called "Tatort", if I watch at all.

[In all of the above cases, by "tv" read small for me (around the size of a decent laptop screen) and medium for my parents. When I lived with Sarah and Karen we also had medium. If you go to the trouble of finding gaps in the time above, just assume I was at my parents' house.]

I guess what I'm saying is that I have never found tv to be a big part of my life. Certain shows have interested me a great deal (Cubs baseball, Trek, ER, XFiles, soccer, and a few others), but otherwise its just a thing. Is it really that big a deal for other folks? I'm serious. I don't come from a tv family (although my mom hits it pretty hard lately), haven't had tv roomates (well, maybe half have been), and know several singles and pairs who have no tv at all. Surely I'm not in another world.

Or?

2005-08-18T20:16:00.000+02:00

I just got off the telephone with my mother . . .

(I could start a really high percentage of my posts that way, by the way)

and learned something interesting. First, she asked if I had been keeping up with the Sheehan/Dubyah situation. I said that I had a little bit of a notion of what was going on. She asked if I had heard about the fellow who fired his shotgun (?) into the air so as to signal that he was displeased by Sheehan. I said that I had heard something about that. She asked if I had heard about the other fellow who gave the Sheehanians the right to camp on his land. I said that I had heard something about that, too.

She asked if I realized that both gentlemen were kin of me.

I said that I had not realized that.

Here's what I did know: My father's first cousin Don lives near Waco and has land. Dubyah lives near Waco.

Turns out that cousin Don is married to a woman named Shirley (I knew that). Turns out that Don and Shirley live rather near Dubyah (I did not know that, although I visited them 18 years ago).

Turns out that both the gun fellow and the land fellow are Shirley's first (or second, or something) cousins. I did not know that.

So there you go.

2005-08-15T22:32:00.000+02:00

Just so that we are all clear on who it is we are dealing with:

For the past nineteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds your correspondent has been listening to "the Fountain of Lamneth" by Rush.

And part of him liked it.

(Before that it was "Sabrosa" by the Beastie Boys and after it will be/is "Can You See Me?" by the Jimi Hendrix Experience, in case you are building a file).

2005-08-15T18:22:00.000+02:00

I would tell you about my vacation in and around Campiglia Marittima, Italy, but it was too cool for words. Google the town if you want to find things out about it (but only if you are cool).

I will, however, tell you that it dawned on me that this was my first ever real extended vacation. I have had weekends now and then, of course, but this was a genuine vacation. By this I mean that I set out to do nothing more than go somewhere and luxuriate in having vacated, whereas all my previous (and frequent) journeys to various and sundry parts of North America and Europe have been in connection with visits to friends and/or family or some form of study, research, or quasi-professional outing. Sure, as a child I did this, but this is the first time as a non child. It was a interesting experience.

I will also ad that a sideline experience in our vacation was two nights in the home town of both Pliny the Elder AND Pliny the Less Old. Also from that town, more recently, came Giusseppi Volta, for whom the country of Upper Volta is named (Lower Volta was named for his father, oddly enough) and who was the inventor of Voltron.

But seriously. Germany is on the cusp of an election, as the regular reader of this blog knows. Infrequent or first-time readers may also have stumbled upon this information via news outlets. I will now update you on the situation as I see it.

[My fellow US citizens might be interested to learn that there are missing white girls, from time to time, in Germany, but sadly no shark attacks.]

Our story began when the governing party, the SPD (nominal socialists with hints of Blairite New Labour and Clintonite New Democrat) got smeared in the election of the state of North Rhine-Westphalia (where I reside). This was bad for them for three reasons. One: NRW is the biggest state in Germany. Two: NRW is the historic heartland of the SPD. Three: The victory gave the opposition CDU (nominal conservatives with hints of Tory and Republican) the whip hand in the upper house of the federal parliament (the Bundesrat, made up of state governors). Gerhard Schröder, the Chancellor (SPD) called a snap election in response.

Snap elections often happen in other parliamentary systems but there was some question as to whether Germany's constitution allows for it (at least in this circumstance). In the end, Schröder got his wish.

Why did he do it? Opinion is divided. It might be that he is just tired of the gig and wanted to go down fighting sooner rather than later (scheduled elections were for next year). The conventional wisdom is that he knew that he would be hard pressed to get much governing done in the new reality so he wanted a sort of referendum on his leadership. It follows from this that if he loses, he doesn't lose much, but if he wins he has a mandate of sorts.

My take (and I'm not alone, but I am in the minority) is that he figured, as above, that he had little to lose and much to gain AND that he reckoned on winning. Basically, by calling these elections he forced his opponents to dance to his tune. They would have preferred to have more time to sort things out, basically, and he looked decisive and like a risk taker. This boosted his personal popularity and wrong footed his opponents.

Lets look at them, then. The CDU was forced, by Schröder's decision, to move quicker than they would have liked to pick a lead candidate AND to work out what it is they stand for. They have been cruising since the end of Kohl, in 1998, as the nattering nabobs of negativity party. They have struggled to come up with plans to take to the voters, as Schröder must have known they would, and this has hurt them. As to the lead-candidate issue: they ended up having to settle for their general secretary and parliamentary leader, Angela Merkel. She is problematic for lots of reasons, not least of which is that there were other folks angling for the gig who are now expected to pull oars for her.

Short version of Merkel's problem: She is a protestant - the CDU is heavily catholic. She is a woman - the CDU has a strong "traditional values" strain (including sexism). She is from East Germany - the CDU is a very West German party. And it doesn't help that she's not particularly charismatic and has never been identified with anything approaching a political philosophy or even a pet issue.

But it gets worse for Merkel and the CDU. Edmund Stoiber was the party's candidate last time and wanted to be again, is the governor of Bavaria, put the "smu" in "smug", and is very charismatic. Lately he has been noted for having, in large and small ways, insulted the entire former East Germany and, less directly, all parts of Germany to the extent that they are not Bavaria. Other CDU politicians (technically Stoiber is CSU, the Bavarian "sister party" of the CDU) have made similar comments. This has not helped the campaign.

Another interesting twist to the whole thing is that Oscar Lafontaine (a charismatic former SPD leader) and Gregor Gysi (a charismatic leader of the PDS, which is the "reformed" East German communist party) joined forces to create a new left-wing party.

You would think that this would hurt the SPD (and their allies, the Greens) more than it would the CDU (and their allies, the neo-liberal FDP) and you would, sort of, be right. The SPD is not going to do well, and this Links Partei is one reason (although things are looking up). But the Greens are actually doing OK. A coalition again seems possible. No. It turns out that lots of protest voters who are less than pleased with the SPD-Green government are thinking of voting for the Links Partei instead of the CDU-FDP. The CDU share in polls is dropping like a rock (especially in the East) and the FDP face the real possibility of not even getting back into the parliament.

And if you still don't believe that Schröder has reasons for optimism, cue George W. Bush. Bush helped Schröder win re-election in 2002 by rattling the sword at Iraq. Germans thought he was nuts, and Schröder articulated and rode on that (the CDU would support Bush, as everyone here knows). So Dubyah has conveniently announced that he would "not rule out" using ultraviolence on Iran. Not popular here. Schröder is on the case.

I, for one, would not be surprised if the SPD-Greens (and perhaps the Linkspartei) scrape out a coalition victory in September. Its pretty doggoned interesting.

(Having said all that: The SPD is only good compared to some alternatives. Their policies have not been to my liking, by and large, since 1998. They deserve to lose, but I'd rather they didn't. I think I would vote for the Linkspartei or, perhaps, the MLPD [Marxistische-Leninistische Partei Deutschland] or, perhaps, the Greens.)

Oh, and Japan (the other supereconomy) will have a major election around the same time. The circumstances are shockingly similar but, since I know dick-all about Japanese politics, I will refrain from saying more about it.

Oh, and I had a nice vacation.

2005-08-11T19:37:00.000+02:00

Have ya ever noticed that Birgit doesn't seem to understand the purpose of those bits of the dish drainer which were CLEARLY designed for the easy and orderly arrangement of dishes in need of drainage? Ever noticed that? WHAT is THAT all about?

Am I right?

Where my non-Birgits at?

Nevertheless, we had a wonderful vacation. Thanks for asking.

2005-07-21T23:33:00.000+02:00

I'm off for vacation. Ciao, as they say where I'm going.

2005-07-21T00:03:00.000+02:00

I know there are tons of more important things going on in the world but I find myself unmoved to blog about them at the moment because James Doohan has died.

That would be Mr Scott (Scotty) of Star Trek.

Scotty is one of my favorite characters in the whole of fictionland. He was the ultimate working-class hero (even in a classless society). He came across as a regular fellow who, due to pluck, grit, and mad skillz, managed to become the best of the best. Kirk was a boy genius, Spock was genetically superior, and Sulu, Uhura, and Chekov never got as much fleshing out (so to speak). Scotty was vivid, and Doohan played him well.

One of my favorite (and your favorite) Scotty moments came in the fourth Star Trek film ("the Voyage Home") when he learned to love an Apple IIe (or whatever it was). Funny.

But as much as I like the original series, I find myself drawn, now, to the Next Generation episode "Relics". In it, Scotty reappears after decades of "death". He survived due to his skill as an engineer but had problems with being superfluous (and he was, largely due to advances in technology). This episode gave him a chance to mourn his youth.

He wasn't the world's greatest actor but he played that role well. If you have ever known a person who has found themselves to be past their prime and are struggling to deal with it, or have known or loved an old soldier or sailor, or have even listened closely to the lyrics to Springsteen's "Glory Days", you will find it hard to watch "Relics" without feeling a little bit of sadness. Well done.

As John Lennon once wrote, a working class hero is something to be. Scotty was that. James Doohan was that.

I just hope he remembered to put the pattern buffers into a diagnostic loop so that some future generation can give him some love.

2005-07-17T12:42:00.000+02:00

SPOILER ALERT!

In the new Harry Potter, Harry and his friends have an adventure in which someone dies. We also learn a bit more about the mystery surrounding Harry's true identity.

It turns out that Harry is Luke Skywalker's father, the One Ring, the messiah, the Count of Monte Cristo, the Real Slim Shady, the antichrist, the Most Valuable Object in the World, King Arthur, the thing at the bottom of the ladder on Lost, and incontrovertable proof of alien intelligence.

By the way, I'm rereading the first Harry Potter book and I noticed that "young Sirius Black" gets mentioned. Now it may be common knowledge among true fans that Rowling did some planning before setting out to write these things, but I never thought about it and found it interesting that a character from book 3 would be name-checked in book 1. Cool?

2005-07-15T19:59:00.000+02:00

Ok. Al Franken (on Air America Radio) was just talking with some crazy old (rightwing?) journalist guy (Les Kingsolver? I can't be bothered.) who is famous for asking less-than-standard questions of the White House Press Secretary. As they came to the end of the interview, he fired off an awesome question to Al, who was thunderstruck.

I will get to the meat of the question in a moment. But first:

You will have seen reports from time to time regarding how George HW Bush and Bill Clinton have struck up a friendship of sorts. There was the Indian Ocean cruise just after Christmas. There were joint public appearances. There was the recent story (somewhere, I forget) about Bill spending time up in Kennebunkport.

You will have seen reports that Hillary Clinton seems keen on a (potentially successful) run for the presidency.

You will have heard about the "Sandra Day! Come back Sandra Day!" campaign among certain senatorial types.

You will have heard discussion of how Dubyah is in a bit of a pickle over how to get a Supreme Court to his liking.

You will have noticed that Dubyah is having problems in the realm of uniting versus dividing the Amuhrkin public.

Would Dubyah like to knock Hillary out of the presidential race before it gets rolling? Would he like to see Jebby have a shot? Would he like a solidly pro-business Supreme Court Justice? Would he like smooth sailing on the rest of his lower court appointments? Would he like to take over the news for a while to draw attention away from his various catastrophes? Would he like to wrongfoot the resurgent Democratic Party ahead of the 2006 midterm elections? Would he like to clear the field for Chief Justice Clarence Thomas?

Would he dare nominate Bill Clinton to the Supreme Court and kill all sorts of birds with one stone?

(That was the meat of the question. There is precedent: see William Howard Taft.)

Great Googly Woogly.

2005-07-14T17:40:00.000+02:00

There’s no bread
Let them eat cake
There’s no end to what they’ll take
Flaunt the fruits of noble birth
Wash the salt into the earth

But they’re marching to Bastille Day
La guillotine will claim her bloody prize
Free the dungeons of the innocent
The king will kneel and let his kingdom rise

Bloodstained velvet, dirty lace
Naked fear on every face
See them bow their heads to die
As we would bow as they rode by

And we’re marching to Bastille Day
La guillotine will claim her bloody prize
Sing, o choirs of cacophony
The king has kneeled to let his kingdom rise

Lessons taught but never learned
All around us anger burns
Guide the future by the past
Long ago the mould was cast

For they marched up to Bastille Day
La guillotine claimed her bloody prize
Hear the echoes of the centuries
Power isn’t all that money buys

(Rush was awesome. You just don't know.)

2005-07-14T15:37:00.000+02:00

I sortof knew about, but clearly forgot, the two minutes of silence thing. The guy in whose office I was sitting at the time seemed also unaware.

So.

I'm silent now.

Next Wednesday, perhaps, there will be two moments of silence for the folks who were blown up yesterday in Baghdad. Whatcha reckon?

2005-07-13T17:02:00.000+02:00

So far I have been pleased with the measured tone of the London bombing coverage in my three preferred UK news sources (the Guardian, the BBC, and the Economist). Lots of factors explain why they aren't hyperventilating like many US media did after the 11 September 01 attacks (scale, media culture, and the 911 having been on tee vee are chief among them, I think). Whatever the cause, though, I prefer the Brits' style.

I do have a problem, however, with the notion that folks are shocked (shocked!) that the perpetrators seem to have been born and reared in Britain. This smacks a little of the fondness, so often expressed by my fellow Alabamians in other contexts, for laying the blame for whatever we face at the feet of "outside agitators". I don't think this is healthy. I know it doesn't bear scrutiny.

[Dog forbid such an outrage were to take place here in Germany, with native "foreigners" (as so many Germans assholishly call folks who don't "look German") on the hook.]

And so, in the interests of pointing out to the "how can they?" brigades that this is not all that unusual, a bit of histoire in the form of event/name dropping:

- Birmingham, Alabama's 16th St. Baptist Church bombing (all perps were local)
- The Baader-Meinhoff Gang (a bunch of Germans doing most of what they did in Germany)
- The Italian Red Brigades (for Italians by Italians)
- The Unibomber in the US (a Harvard Man, no less)
- The Oklahoma City Bombing (both of the men convicted were Americans and army vets: "John Doe #2" is still at large)
- most terrorism in the West Bank and Israel comes from folks who were born and raised inside those territories
- So far as we know, all of the recent attacks inside Saudi Arabia were done by Saudis.
- Sri Lanka's Tamil Tigers are, um, Sri Lankan for the most part.
- Japan's Aum Shinrikyo (sp?) cult was/is Japanese.
- Randall Terry (Atlanta Olympic bombing and several abortion clinic bombings) is an American.
- All bombings inside Northern Ireland were done by native residents of that benighted province, to the best of my knowledge.
- Germany's Reichstag fire (probably done by Nazis, but even if you buy their story [that it was the commies], it was still Germans)
- Kristallnacht: German citizens attacking other German citizens (the understatement of the day, at least)
- From what I have gathered, the terrorist problems faced by India have largely resulted from the actions of Indian citizens (and I'm not even talking about Kashmir).
- Most assassinated heads of state I can think of were assassinated by home-grown assassins, if I recall correctly.

And so on.

We have met the enemy and he is us, in other words. Although this could be read as a call for paranoia, what I mean to say is that when the problem is "outside agitators" there is a tendency to take their concerns less seriously (after all, they are outsiders: they shouldn't even be "here"). If our friends and neighbors are going wild, however, it is time for a good long consideration of what the fuck is up.

This (the thinking) is much more difficult and much more effective than lashing out at foreigners. It is so difficult, in fact, that the knee-jerk reaction tends to be a hunt for those things which weigh the same as ducks. And that just makes it all worse.

2005-07-11T21:22:00.000+02:00

The other day I was talking with someone (I think it was Scott) about how, as awful as the London attacks were, it was worth bearing in mind that something along those lines happens almost everyday in Baghdad.

The next day something along those lines happened in Baghdad.

Now GoogleNews (Germany) is carrying stories about something along those lines happening right about now in Russia. GoogleNews (US) has got dick all about it.

Sorta adds oomph to this cartoon.

2005-07-11T20:16:00.000+02:00

I'm torn regarding the case of Judith Miller and that other journalist guy.

-- I'm pretty sure I'm against the whole notion of compelled testimony.
-- I think if you have knowledge of a crime you prolly should tell.
-- I don't think it is a good idea for "secret agents" to exist.
-- I don't like the idea of it being a criminal act to have or pass along information (if you are an individual and working in that capacity: different rules apply to institutions).
-- I reckon a state can only function properly if the laws are fairly applied, so if you disagree with a law (such as the one to which I just referred) then you should be prepared to face the consequences of breaking it in protest (see civil disobedience).

That last point clearly doesn't apply beyond the theoretical.

Basically, I don't know where to stand.

I do loathe Judy Miller's work leading up to the Iraq war, though.

2005-07-10T23:54:00.000+02:00

Natalie Davis' All Facts and Opinions is a blog I like but haven't checked in a few days. It seems the author is having problems with bills. I have no idea who follows my link to her (her sitemeter clocks people coming from here) but I would like to propose that those who do drop a tip or two. There are, I gather, ways to do such things. She seems to be a really cool person in need of some cash, so, you know.

2005-07-10T10:45:00.000+02:00

As many of you know, Scott and Shelley were in London Thursday (they still are, although they are on their way to Ireland soon, I think). Scott had a compelling adventure that day and it merited an article in the paper, in fact.

When I came home from work early on Thursay afternoon, I opened up the puter to see what news had taken place while I was at work. I saw the news about the bombings and immediately tried to call Scott and Shelley. They didn't answer. So I checked their blogs. They were fine (Scott and Shelley, I mean, but the blogs were too). A few minutes later my mom called. I answered the phone with the line "they are fine". She had just gotten up and turned on the news and freaked out because she remembered Scott having said something about King's Cross.

From what I can gather from the internets, it appears that the rightwingers in the US are talking about these events in the same way that they talk about all similar events: incorrectly. The internets are also full of more thoughtful American digestions, so all is not lost.

Nevertheless: I was thinking about the "how can this happen?" and "what sort of monsters?" and "why here/now/us/them?" school of commentary. At the risk of implying a lack of sympathy for the victims and their loved ones, I have to say something about that (I gave this a test run in my local bar last night and it went over relatively well).

Sitting here in my Safe European Home I sometimes consider what this place was like 60 years ago. In keeping with the Metaphorocaust (this is the accepted spelling, I think), please think about the rain of fire brought down, at various times, by the air forces of Germany, the UK, the US, and the USSR (and to a lesser extent those of smaller powers like Italy and Canada) on assorted European cities. Did the civilians (and they were almost all "innocent" civilians, whether in Berlin or Coventry or Leningrad or Warsaw or Hamburg or Rotterdam or wherever) ask one another why this was happening? Perhaps some did, but I suspect most realized that it was more or less directly connected to the WORLD WAR their country was a part of. This doesn't make it OK, in my mind, but it is pretty straightforward.

Terrorism may be more disorienting than 1000 bomber raids but both of them are tactics. They are/were specifically designed to "bring the war" to the civilian population of the enemy country, nominally because it is/was thought that the civilian victims would pressure their states to change policy/surrender. It didn't work in World War Two and, I suspect, won't work now (it hasn't worked in Israel, Spain, the UK, Russia, Sri Lanka, or any other country I'm aware of).

I reckon what I'm trying to say is that when your country is involved in a war it is not unreasonable to expect that you might become a casualty. This has not always been the case (your average Roman citizen had little to fear from the Persians and your average New Yorker didn't trouble himself with Navajo reprisals) but it happens and has happened before.

The only sure way to avoid such things is to stay out of wars. Sigh.

Until then, I suggest that any indignation ("How dare they?") be directed less at the perpetrators than at whichever political/economic/social/religious forces put us in conflict.

I'm reminded of the parable of the frog (or was it a mouse?) and the crocodile, as told by Forrest Whittaker's character in "the Crying Game". In case you don't recall it, I will paraphrase. A frog/mouse needed to get to the other side of a stream. A crocodile offered him a ride. The frog/mouse agreed on the condition that the crocodile promise not to eat him. The crocodile did. On the other side of the stream, however, the crocodile chomped the frog/mouse. As he was dying, the frog/mouse said "but you promised not to eat me! Why are you doing this?" The crocodile replied: "It's in my nature."

And now I must point out something that one of my colleagues noted: my place of employment is a target of opportunity to any terrorist in Germany. What with our "big fuckin' Union Jack" on the outside of our building and all.

Neil Young helps me close this: "Soldier, your eyes. They shine like the sun. I wonder why. Soldier, your eyes shine like the sun. I wonder why."

2005-07-06T17:38:00.000+02:00

If you are like me, you just escorted your girlfriend to the airport so that she could go off for a vacation in Thailand while you work.

If you are like me, you use AOL instant messenger.

If you are like me, you just saw the AOL news flash thingy regarding how New York won't get the 2012 Olympics and you saw a picture of Hillary Clinton making a face that looks as if she is saying "Oooooooooo!"

If you are like me, you are disappointed in how few votes the dark horse contender for the 2012 Olympics got: 1 vote only for Ciudad de I Don't Give a Shit.

If you are like me, you are angry at Hillary Clinton for not only saying "Oooooooooo!" but also for her lying about where she is from. First she's from Illinois, then she's from Arkansas, then she's from New York, and now the rumor is that she's not even from the Amuhkuh. Word is she's actually Lesbian. Now I don't know where Lesbia is, but I think she owes us an explanation.

2005-07-01T21:57:00.000+02:00

Sandra Day O'Connor, famously the first woman to ever resign from the US Supreme Court, will be replaced by a snarling hellhound.

You read it here first.

I once, some time ago, suggested that Amuhrkuh had not heard the last of former Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Damned Moore. I wonder. Could it be? Nah. Or? Nah.

Well?

Happy Canada Day, by the way. I know this isn't the best time to mention it on a blog read by Amuhrkins, but still.

In other news, Gerhard "Dubyah calls me Gair Hard" Schröder got a no-confidence vote from the Bundestag today. He wanted it because he wants new elections. He is on shaky constitutional ground with this stunt, but it is a fascinating show. It seems likely to end up with a conservative government taking over.

Happy Canada Day, I say again.

2005-06-25T16:14:00.000+02:00

I know next to nothing about Iranian politics beyond the story that a religious council holds most real power in the country and that those fellows are widely deemed (by journalistic types elsewhere) to be unpopular. That and the one about the reform-minded president who has spent several frustrating years countering the religous council.

This, in a nutshell, seems to be conventional wisdom about Iran: widespread frustration among the middle class and urban types with the religious council is leading to the rise of reformist politics. Freedom on the march, one might say.

Either that isn't as true as the conventionally wise would prefer or shenanigans are on the march, however. You will have heard that an "ultra conservative" (a term in search of context to have much meaning) former head of the police (no context needed) just won the presidency by a country mile. He had been mayor of Tehran, and Tehran is massive, so it seems safe to say that the folks in a position to know him best must have thought he was ok (the countriside being where the ultraconservatives are said to live). But could the fix have been in? If so, it was clever to add that less than 50% of the eligible turned out.

I just don't see much indication that the world is getting any better.

2005-06-19T23:15:00.000+02:00

The Confederations Cup continues to be fun to watch. Today Japan upset Greece 1-0 (I was put in mind of Alexander, who never made it to Japan before dying) and then Mexico upset Brazil 1-0 (just like the Battle of Puebla, but with Brazilians instead of French).

Awesome. Viva México!

2005-06-18T09:35:00.000+02:00

Tom Tomorrow has recently gotten into gangblogging. I don't much care for it. It seems to me that one of the charms of a blog is that it is personalized. Each blog is a competing edition of Me Magazine. In this way, you can gravitate towards the blogs written by people you think seem pretty cool (Tom Tomorrow, for example, or Tim on the Road to Surfdom) and away from folks who strike you as not as cool (I see no reason to mention any names). With a group blog, you get a group. And groups are bad. (well, not intrinsically). Billmon posts on TT's blog now. Why? I've known about Billmon's blog for a few years. If I wanted to read it (and I do sometimes) I would go there and read it. It only takes a few keystrokes. When I go to This Modern World it is for Tom.

But Greg! What if Tom can't be bothered to blog frequently? Well, then, I guess everyone will just sit there staring at his page, refreshing now and then, and waiting, right? Um. If they are idiots. If they aren't, they could go elsewhere. Tom could even make it easy for them to go elsewhere. We have the technology. It is called a LINK.

Ugh.

Anywho. Tom Tomorrow points out, and I point out in turn, that there is a really funny thing to look at for long periods of time. It isn't new, but it is new to me. And perhaps to you.

It is Superdickery, which centers on the premise that comic book evidence shows that Superman is a dick, and also presents scans of odd, stupid, creepy, offensive, and hillarious comic book pages and covers from the past. Watch out for Batman's Boner, for example.

2005-06-16T20:29:00.000+02:00

As Eldan notes, in the comment below, the Metaphoracaust is still in full swing. We are entering a phase of the Metaphoracaust one might usefully compare to the Great Leap Forward. I'm thinking "Let a Hundred Metaphors Bloom" might be my new motto.

2005-06-15T23:23:00.000+02:00

Germany just defeated Australia 4-3 in an opening round Confederations Cup match in Frankfurt. It was a sloppy game, but there was a bright spot for fans of German Fussball: this was the youngest German national team (average age of around 22 or 24 if I heard right) to take the field since the invention of forever. So the kids are allright.

It crossed my mind that this was just like Gallipoli, by the way. Of course, there were fewer Turks, more Germans, fewer guns, and more guys playing soccer. And, of course, this took place in a stadium, rather than on the shore of a peninsula, and just finished a few minutes ago instead of 90 years ago. And Winston Churchill was not involved in the planning for this.

But the Aussies losing reminded me of Gallipoli. That and the limping Mel Gibson.

2005-06-14T07:46:00.000+02:00

Mike Jackson is a free (what is the word?) celebrity? Anyway. Either he really, genuinely is not guilty, or the prosecution did a spectacularly horrible job. In any event, all hoops have now been jumped through.

Coming soon, the civil trial. And that, after all, is what this has always been about, right?

2005-06-10T18:07:00.000+02:00

I ironed my pants and shirt last night, and my tie, so as to save time this morning. I catch the train at 6:02 on Fridays so that means getting up around 5:00: if I wanted to shower AND iron before work I’d have to get up even earlier, so I tend to either iron at night or not shower. Today I needed the shower, though.

She probably didn’t sleep last night, but she may have ironed. She wanted to look halfway decent this, her big, morning.

For various reasons, mostly pertaining to my coffee and news addictions, I very nearly missed my train, or thought I was going to. Fortune smiled upon me, however, as I discovered two things when I got to the bottom of the hill which all but guaranteed that I would make it on time. 1) My clocks are all a few minutes fast. 2) A bus pulled up just as I got across the street and offered a 3-minute ride (sparing me an 8-minute walk). I had time for a cigarette (my last one: I had time to pick up a new pack in the Dortmund station at the kiosk at the foot of the stairs when I got out of the train).

Did she unplug the iron? Better go back and check! Yes. Did she have her wallet? Yes. Gas in the car? Hmm. Let’s see. . . . It was 6:15. Not enough time: She would just have to hope it was enough.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Rhein-Wupper Express from Aachen to Dortmund with stops in Wuppertal-Barmen, Wuppertal-Oberbarmen, Schwelm, Ennepetal, Hagen, and Witten will be arriving shortly on track 2. Bitte Vorsicht bei der Einfahrt des Zuges.

Two minutes late. I would have made it even without the bus, and could have bought my cigarettes here instead of waiting until Dortmund. Oh well. No smoking on the trains anyway.

The 6:02 is usually pretty quiet and empty. I took a seat, as is my custom, facing the back of the train. Ever since the big ICE crash a few years ago it has seemed to me that I would be less likely to suffer severe injury in the case of a sudden stop if I sat like this than if I sat facing forward. This is both a natural assumption and not really all that clever: if a train stops suddenly, then you are bound to be in trouble no matter where you are sitting, because trains just can’t really stop suddenly.

The Rhein-Wupper Express is not, sadly, an ICE. It usually doesn’t go much more than 120 kilometers per hour.

Ennepetal has a lovely old wooden train station. EVERY TIME I pass through there I think that thought, and I also think that someone should do something to spruce it up. It appears to be empty (just platforms and ticket machines) and it is covered in grafitti.

It was 6:20 when I thought this today (as it usually is when I think this on Thursdays and Fridays). We are usually in Hagen by around 6:30 and in Dortmund by 6:55. Today’s break from the routine would have been for a pack of cigarettes, but otherwise I planned to just go into the office, get some more coffee, and then go off to my 8:00 appointment.

She would have, perhaps, noticed that the train was running late by a couple of minutes. Time enough to check her makeup and read the letter one more time. Having established that everything was in its proper place she got out of the car and glanced around. Nothing stirring. That’s why she picked this place. The good people were mostly or all still a’bed, not that it really mattered. She closed the door but didn’t lock it. She wanted everyone to understand that she was not a twit wandering aimlessly in search of a locksmith: they must see the keys (just as they must see her purse and letter) there in the front seat of her unlocked car. She couldn’t risk them being lost when

I collected the first piece of evidence suggesting that my fear of a sudden stop was unfounded. We stopped quickly, to be sure, but *relatively* quickly. I did look up from my magazine, though, because the conductor had not announced Hagen and so we should not yet be stopping. But we were. Out the left side of the train I could see a few old factories and a working-class apartment block or two. Out the right side I could see the tidy, boring, quiet middle-class neighborhood between the tracks and the hill.

The conductor’s voice apologized for the fact that, due to an accident, we would be going no further for a while. He would keep us posted and thanked us for our understanding.

The conductor’s voice apologized again one minute later. If there is a doctor or a nurse or anyone with similar skills on board, would they please come see him at the front of the train?

I soon noticed the conductor, and then a young blonde woman walking along the side of the tracks back the way we’d come. A few minutes later I noticed a police officer.

This train was a double-decker. It was quite nice and comfortable, and in most senses an improvement over the older trains that run on most routes (and sometimes on this one). One thing I don’t like about it, though (and I just noticed this today), is that you can’t open the windows very far. Just about 4 inches. I slipped my cell phone/camera though the window and used the zoom function (I tried to get a basic model that just does telephony, but those are hard to get now, so don’t mock me) to try to see what was going on. I could just make out something, but it wasn’t clear what I was looking at.

I called in to cancel my appointment at around 7:30. Even if we started immediately I wouldn’t make it for 8:00.

At around 8:15 I took a hike up to the front of the train (I had been back in first class, because there was no one else there). Some folks had taken advantage of the temporary anarchy to smoke in the train. Which is forbidden. I wished that I’d bought cigarettes in Wuppertal.

The conductor and engineer were talking. They weren’t saying much. I sat down near enough to them so that I could learn something if something worth learning came up.

Then the young blonde woman, followed by two young men (one brunette, one bald) and a police officer came out of the bushes along the side of tracks. The conductor opened up and let them in.

The policeman said he saw the keys. He noticed that the door wasn’t locked. He saw her purse and the letter. He knew that she was born in 1941. The conductor and engineer hadn’t been sure whether they had seen a woman or a man, as it all happened so fast. So it was a woman, eh? Yes.

The young men didn’t have much to say, but I did learn that one was a paramedic and the other was a nurse. They had both seen this sort of thing before in other contexts, they said, and were sure they would be fine. The conductor was quite shaken up, and said this happens, on average, once a day somewhere in Germany. The engineer has experienced this sort of thing 4 times in his 38-year career. He said it doesn’t usually happen on days, like today, when the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. The young blonde woman had a lot to say and said it. She was a doctor’s assistant and, I assume, had not seen this sort of thing before. She said it bothered her a great deal. She had questions. She learned that the crew of the train would have some time off and go to the company doctor for a little talk. She might try that herself, I think, or something like it. What shocked her the most was that the woman was just sitting there on the tracks. Like she was just tired of walking and the rails were convenient. Turns out she had a severe head wound, though. Not much blood, but it looked bad. Probably a severe concussion, said the paramedic. She probably wasn’t really conscious, although she was moving her eyes around at first. She was definitely dying though, as she had had her legs amputated (one just above the knee and one right at the hip). She was bleeding profusely.

She closed her eyes right after they got there.

2005-06-10T13:23:00.000+02:00

I have lots to write about, including the story of how I helped kill someone this morning on my way to work (not kidding). But first . . .

I can't resist mixing pathos and bathos so I will point out that if you EVER refer to a certain fast food chain as "Mickey Dee's" I will refuse to show you any respect whatsoever. This may soon go for any reference to "Sunny Dee", too, but my jury is still out.

2005-05-30T22:32:00.000+02:00

DUDE! I am actually on a surfboard surfing an actual blog wave! Usually I'm the last to pick up on these things, if at all, as I have a relatively limited number of frequently-consulted blogs (and those are a bit outside the mainstream, it seams). Anywho, TAPPED is talking about the Metaphorocaust too!

2005-05-29T23:32:00.000+02:00

By a comfortable margin, and with a big turnout, the voters of France have rejected the draft constitution for the EU. This means that the whole constitution drafting process must begin again. Big deal, that.

This one is easy to make a stupid comment about (I may have thoughtful ones another time):

France surrenders . . . TO NON!

In other (surely unrelated) news, the German army has begun a series of "training manouvers" near the Belgian border.

But for real: any time the major trade unions and hard left groups are on the same side of an argument as The Economist (all of those three and more said this was a bad constitution), then you gotta reckon it must be bad.

And any time a constitution is 200 pages long . . .

2005-05-28T22:57:00.001+02:00

2005-05-28T22:57:00.000+02:00

HATE

2005-05-28T22:56:00.000+02:00

LOST.

2005-05-27T14:22:00.000+02:00

A couple of whiles ago, WV Senator Robert C. Byrd Memorial Robert C. Byrd used a historian's account of Hitler's rise to power to illustrate his concerns about what might be happening in the US.

Pennsylvania Senator Rick "Man-on-Dog" Santorum recently compared some opponent holding onto something to Hitler holding onto Paris.

Secretary of Offense Donald Rumsfeld this week compared Al Zarkawi (the new Bin Laden) to being a die-hard bring-the-roof-down-with-me in the mould of Hitler in the bunker.

Anti-abortion sorts frequently compare the destruction of potential humans to the Holocaust.

There have, no doubt, been all sorts of other examples of using Hitler / Third Reich / WW2 / the Holocaust as metaphors for completely not-like-that-at-all things. This seems to be the trend among Amuhrkins.

I am a kind of Amuhrkin. I think that from now on I will pepper my blog posts with absurd metaphors of this sort, but with the added twist that I may use other historical characters, issues, and events.

So, for example, I will say that the Liverpool/Milan game was just like the Battle of the Casserine Pass.

2005-05-26T08:58:00.000+02:00

As Carlton notes, in the comments below, he has made no attempt to disguise his not-where-it-used-to-be hairline. And quite right.

I pointed to his hairline so as to draw attention to our advanced age. Make no mistake: my own hairline is holding the high ground, but just barely. I sortof look like 2nd season Dr Mark Green (maybe 3rd). But no glasses.

Anywho.

Last night I watched the Uefa Cup final betweeen Liverpool and AC Milan (on TV in a bar, rather than in the stadium in Istanbul).

Oh. My. God.

It was one of those things you watch where you think, "this is going to be talked about for years". That may be the most exciting professional football match I have ever seen. I am SO glad I watched it. I feel great now! It's like when you get a buzz off a cigarette and think "that's why I smoke: the little moments like this". Well that last night is why I watch sports.

2005-05-24T21:11:00.000+02:00

Carlton has posted photos related to his and Molly's recent wedding vacation in New Orleans. Do look.

In one photo, I am pretty sure I detect a hairline recession of some significance.

In other news (related through the miracle of photography): some time ago (way back when Saddam Hussein was reportedly captured) I suggested that it might not be him. Or rather, I asked if it was unreasonable to doubt that it is him. Aside from my general reticence to believe the US government, I based my skepticism on the following:

- We were told, repeatedly, for years, that SH had lots of body doubles.
- I have, as yet, seen no mention of the fate of said body doubles (I do recall being assured that they got the right dude, by the same people who assured me that the dude they were getting had a nearly-completed Death Star).

If the doubles existed, then it seems perfectly reasonable that the man we saw in the famous underpants is just some dude.

I guess it all comes down to faith.

2005-05-22T23:06:00.000+02:00

Dude. The SPD (and the Greens) got the shit beat out of them. See, if you will, this link. If you can't read the German, click around the maps. Otherwise, trust me.

Two big surprises from my perspective: 1) that they would do so poorly [a loss wasn't hard to imagine, but this?], 2) that the disgruntled voters didn't choose one of the smaller parties on the left or (Dog forbid) right.

One bit of good news, I suppose, is precisely this last point: the Nazis faired quite poorly.

So. Schröder's response is fascinating. He is calling a snap federal election for the fall, arguing that he wants to know what the folks really think, and if they don't want him then they need to say so.

Risky. But it just. Might. Work. I am predicting, here and now, that he will pull it off.

And now a bit of philosophizin'. I reckon the SPD has a problem not unlike that facing New Labour and the New Democrats. Namely: in their lust for power they shed most of their convictions, and folks noticed. The average voter isn't inclined to support folks who come off as cynical, I reckon, and I think that's what's happening here. For example, a couple of weeks ago the general secretary of the SPD gave a speech in which he took a poke at hedge funds who tear companies to pieces and sell them off for short term profit. He likened them to locusts. Folks around the country said "Hell yeah! We've been saying that around our bar table for years!" But they also said "Dude! YOU can't say that! You and your party have been making sweet sweet love with those locusts since 1998!" They called bullshit, in other words.

Sadly, they turned to the (marginally) greater evil.

We will see, I suppose, how this all turns out. I am living in an exciting time.

2005-05-22T12:18:00.000+02:00

Wuppertal, my current home town, has around 3 or 400,000 residents. It is smack in the middle of the state Nord Rhein Wesphalen (North Rhine Westfalia). This has between 18 and 20 million residents. Other important cities in NRW include

Köln (Cologne), famous for a really big gothic cathedral as well as perfume;
Aachen, famous for being Charlemagne’s capital city;
Düsseldorf, a rather important place for business, and home of 30-odd thousand Japanese folks, for some reason;
Dortmund, not so famous, perhaps, but it is where I work;
Essen, famous for Thyssen and Krupp steel;
Bonn, former capital of West Germany (and, briefly, all Germany).

NRW is where the 30 Years War came to an end (the Peace of Westfalia, negotiated and signed in Münster).
NRW is where Beethoven (Bonn) and Friedrich Engels (Barmen, now part of Wuppertal) were born and raised.
NRW was (and, sort of, still is) the industrial heartland of one of the world’s premier industrial economies.
NRW is Germany’s biggest state in terms of population.
NRW is the heartland of German socialism, communism, and social democracy.
Solingen, a major knife-producing town, is in NRW.
A Germanic army defeated a Roman army in the Teutoburger Forrest, which is in NRW.
Get a map. Start in Bonn and follow the river up to Mönchengladbach and Duisburg, then go east to Dortmund. That little area is where the vast majority of the folks in NRW live, and it is one of the most densly populated regions on Earth (although you wouldn’t know it to look at it).
Since heavy industry (mining, manufacturing, etc) has had its day in most rich countries, you needn’t stretch your imagination to understand that NRW has some unemployment concerns (imagine Pittsburgh, Youngstown, Cleveland, Gary, Akron, and all of West Virginia in one tight package, then add people and take away jobs).

NRW has been governed by the Social Democratic Party (SPD) for the past 39 years (usually alone, sometimes in coalition).

Today, NRW will elect a new state government.

The SPD coalition government (with the Greens as partner) need to win. To lose here would be a disaster for morale, obviously (and a boost to the winners). To lose here would also tip the balance in the upper house of the federal parliament (the Bundesrat) further against the national SPD/Green coalition, making governing rather difficult. To lose here would all but guarantee that the next national government of Germany (to be elected next year) would be conservative. The NRW election is, far and away, the most important thing happening in Europe today.

[The most important thing yesterday was the Eurovision song contest, which was won by a Greek performer. The German performer came last. Right on!]

So, if you can read German, you can find out lots about the election HERE.

If you can’t, I will tell you about the parties in competition.

The SPD (Sozialdemokratische Partei Deutschland) is the mainstream center-left party. They used to be into socialism and such, but underwent a transformation not unlike Labour’s in Britain (moving them towards “the center”, to a sort of polite liberalism). They have dominated the state (and before the war, the region) and would go into a tailspin if they lost here. They are the leader of the national governing coalition (led by Chancellor Gerhard Schröder), and will probably lose the national election next year if they lose this one now. They look to get around 30% of the vote, I think.

The Greens (Bündnis 90 / Die Grüne) are the coalition partner in NRW and at the national level (Joschka Fischer, the foreign minister, is their de facto leader). They started out as a hard-core ecological and pacifist party, but in a civil war between the fundamentalist wing (the Fundis) and the pragmatists (the Realos), they Realos won. This has made them “more electable” but at the price of a bit of soul. They will probably get around 10% of the vote in this election (which is quite good for them).

The CDU (Christlich Demokratische Union) is the main center-right party. Their members would ejactulate in their underpants if they pulled off a win here. There is reason to hope that they will fuck it up, though. They had hoped for voters to choose “change” but have mixed their message (basically “let us try!”) with an appeal to xenophobia, and that doesn’t go down so well with the mainstream in what is, ultimately, one of the most heterogenous parts of Europe. They are also hovering around 30%.

The FDP (Freie Demokratische Partei) is one of the most loathesome parties in the world. They are, ostensibly, classical liberals, but are so desperate to be in power that they will say, quite literally, anything. This time they are promising (I swear) jobs, better schools, jobs, lower taxes, jobs, smarter children, jobs, restrictions on immigration, jobs, more immigration, jobs, improved infrastructure, jobs, reduced government spending, jobs, increased government spending, and jobs. Birgit’s mom said she likes them. I said “Of course you do! What’s not to like?” They even have an openly gay national leader (Guido Westerwelle). They even ran a few years ago with the goal of getting 18% (18 being code for Nazis: A = 1 and H = 8). Fuckers. They might get 10% of the vote. They would be the CDU coalition partner if things go their way.

The PDS (Partei des Demokratischen Sozialismus) is the heir to the East German communist party and are a genuine leftist party. They have shed their Stalinism and tickle me in the red zone. Their national public face is the (hot and sexy, like Rosa Luxemburg) Sarha Wagenknecht. Rot Front, my friend. I would like to see them get somewhere around 10%, but it is probably not going to happen. The thing is, they would likely pull votes from the SPD or Greens.

Another Left spoiler is the WASG (Wahlalternative Arbeit & soziale Gerechtigkeit) which is composed of disillusioned SPD supporters who can’t think of a good name for their party. They could pull a few votes, but aren’t much of a party.

There are also two neo-Nazi parties, but I doubt they will have much success. They will scrap it out at the bottom of the rightwing barrel with a Biblethumper party (no kidding: PBC - Partei Bibeltreuer Christen), a quasi-fascist ecology and family party, and an old peoples’ party (the Gray Panthers). The left brings a Marxist/Leninist party (i.e., unreformed Soviet-style communists), a social solidarity party, and an animal rights party. There is also a party called Die Partei which looks totally serious except for the part about making eastern Germany a “special economic zone” which will be separated from the rest of the country (they are, surely, joking about reversing unification).

Anywho. I will tell you the results as soon as I have them.

My own polling indicates that Birgit will vote Green, her mom will vote FDP, her dad will vote CDU, our friend Kirsten will vote SPD, and her boyfriend doesn’t know.

2005-05-17T19:50:00.000+02:00

Is British MP George Galloway nearly as cool as he seems to be?

I ask this because he seems to be pretty fucking cool. Like, ice. Like, Fonzi.

I wonder if he's ever sucked a dick or if he would consider it. Cuz mebbie if he did, and it were filmed, he could become famous in the US and people would listen to the (seemingly quite sensible) things he is saying.

2005-05-15T22:43:00.000+02:00

For some time now I have had a mighty and thoughtful blog entry in mind. I wanted to punch out something meaningful and considered. This was to be a serious and significant commentary on things and stuff, as well as my contribution to the furtherance of the worldwide discourse on events and people and whatnot.

But I haven't gotten around to it just yet.

And here I am, with nothing meaningful, mighty, thoughtful, considered, serious, significant, or discursive to say. So why am I posting anyway? Well. I'm glad you asked.

There is a television show in Germany called "Wetten Das?". It consists of stupid human tricks, basically, but with the twist that "celebrity" guests have to bet on whether the stupid human can actually do what they say they can do. Being a German show, most of the celebrities are German. But since celebrity knows no borders, neither does the show. Tonight's episode, for example, is coming live from Turkey, in front of a massive audience in an old Roman amphitheater (the show only comes on a few times a year, so as to embiggen the deal). Birgit and I are/were watching it because Birgit's sister's boyfriend is in the audience and we hoped to catch a glimpse of him (we haven't).

That we haven't caught a glimpse of Murat means that this has been nothing more than a waste of time. But one of the "celebrities" on the show makes it more than simply that. It makes it a pain in my ass. It makes it a craw-sticker.

I am not a big fan of the whole "celebrity" thing, but I reserve a special loathing for those famous people who have done nothing (such as act or sing or dance or play sports or what have you) to earn their fame in some way. I really hate, in other words, people who are famous for being famous. If I ask someone "who is that person?", I want to hear that the person is a performer or thing-doer of some sort.

A couple of years ago, I started to see mentions of tonight's offender on the internets. I was puzzled enough to ask either Sara or Scott about the person. I was disappointed to learn that the person is the very model of fame resulting from fame. This person is Why They Hate Us. This person is why I hate us. I hate people who like this person, hate people who find this person interesting, hate people who find this person remotely distracting. I hate myself for getting so angry about this person. I hate the fact that I have been out of the US (and therefore out of this person's famefeeder) for all but a month or so of this person's 15 minutes and STILL I find myself confronted with this person.

This person is PARIS HILTON. Paris Hilton was just on German television. Why? Well, because she is famous. What did she do to get famous? As near as I can tell she sucked some dude's dick. There must be something more to her fame than that, of course, since otherwise I can think of several people I can personally endorse as equally deserving of fame (some more than others, if you want to get right down to it, and one more deserving of infamy than fame).

Has she ever done ANYTHING else which might have drawn the disembodied, flaming eye that is German popular culture? No. Just the dick sucking. And yet there she was. Just now. On my TV.

I hate. So much.

In happier news, look Carlton-ward.

2005-05-03T21:45:00.000+02:00

I didn't think Britain, whatever Tony's flaws, would ever stoop so low as to resort to torture of this sort: Guardian Unlimited: "Woman held over baby remains".

2005-04-29T14:23:00.000+02:00

HAR!

[via August J. Pollak.]

2005-04-26T09:36:00.000+02:00

If you don't know much about the Mirror Universe and would like to know, one place to start is Star Trek dot com, which is the Paramount page for the shows. It isn't the best site in the world, but it does provide a bit of info.

For example, the second (perhaps third) adventure in the Mirror Universe (the first being in the original show's Mirrror Mirror) is DS9's Through the Looking Glass.

Read about it, and the various follow ups. Don't watch it. It is stupid. (there is one cool bit where the realworld Sisko makes his own technology available [they should, of course, have it already] and they build a Defiant. It kicks everyone's ass)

And for those about to comment to the effect that I am a nerd: (I quote August J Pollak) Fuck the fuck off.

2005-04-24T18:12:00.000+02:00

I know it is oldish news, but the article Becoming Jeff Gannon is well written and the story is more than a bit fascinating.

2005-04-24T14:54:00.000+02:00

Carlton recently mentioned that the television program Enterprise "sucks". I have seen fewer than half of the episodes, but I have read recaps via Television Without Pity for all those I missed and can't agree. I think a case can be made that it sucks relative to what it might have been, but we must watch the Trek we have, and not the Trek we might wish to have.

Devoted Trek fans (also known as weirdos, Trekkies, Trekkers, losers, nerds, scientists, and Greg) have, over the years, made Star Trek better by making their desires clear to the writers (and becoming the writers). They have identified themselves and their desires and have shown themselves ready to buy shit. They have been rewarded, I reckon, by a production/writing stable more attuned to the existing fan base than any other francise (that person fucking you, Star Wars fans? His name is George Lucas, and he'll not be giving you a reacharound).

This, as a rule, has been to THE GOOD.

I have to part ways with the average fan, however, on one big point. This is a thing that first appeared back in the 1960s and, because of the fans, has become a thread running through Trek. (A word of warning: What I am about to type is the sort of thing that could get me kicked out of a Magik card circle, if I were in one.)

I HATE THE MIRROR UNIVERSE. Hate. It.

I hated it in the original series.
I don't recall seeing it The Next Generation (further proof, perhaps, that this was the best of all the shows).
I hated it in Deep Space Nine.
I have only seen a handful of Voyager episodes, so can't speak to its presence there.
I refuse to watch it in Enterprise.

I am, quite frankly, pissed off that Enterprise would waste not one but two of its remaining handful of episodes on this bullshit.

(Yes, the Evil Goatee. Otherwise, suck.)
(The Mirror Universe sucks in oh so many ways: the good guys are bad [mirrored, ok], but the bad guys aren't good! Why don't cats chase dogs? Why doesn't hot snow fall up? Why don't the transporters always work perfectly?)

2005-04-21T08:21:00.000+02:00

Timothy Garton-Ash has written two very nice books and tons of moderately good to great articles over the years (he may have done more than that, but I only mention what I know). I guess it is safe to say that I am generally pro-TGA. His latest offering, for example, begins with

"Atheists should welcome the election of Pope Benedict XVI. For this aged, scholarly, conservative, uncharismatic Bavarian theologian will surely hasten precisely the de-Christianisation of Europe that he aims to reverse."

Quite right. The mood on the German street (which is smooth and clean and has well-marked lanes and generous crossing options for pedestrians) is decidedly anti Bennie the Rat. Even Birgit's mother, easily the most devout Catholic I know (and pretty conservative) doesn't like him. So, hats off to TGA for not only noticing this nail, but also hitting it slap on the head.

What makes my love for TGA less than pure, however, is his occaisional Thomas-Friedman-like lapse into bullshit. For example:

"This [the rise of secularism] used to be less true in eastern Europe, where the pressure of communism helped to keep the churches strong."

Tim? TGA is an historian of sorts, and Mitteleuropa is his beat, so he knows good and well that this is a misleading thing to say. The churches in a couple of E.Eur countries were indeed strongISH during the Cold War (the Evangelisch in E. Germany, for example, and the Catholic Church in Poland) but this was only relative to other communist countries like the Soviet Union. If by "strong" he means "having much impact on the daily lives of most folks, or even a large minority" then he is wrong and knows it. What is true--and he knows it--is that the states used the churches to help blunt anger at the regime. They were allowed to exist, given a little bit of wiggle room, and were observed for signs of counter-revolutionary activity. This broke down in Poland in the early 80s and churches in E. Germany played host to protest meetings in the mid to late 80s, but that's about the size of it.

And then there is this gem:

"In Berlin, for example, Muslims are already the second-largest active denomination, after Protestants but before Catholics."

That's a ridiculous thing to say. It would be just as accurate to say that in Berlin there are more Punks than Catholics, or more Skinheads, or more panhandlers, or more Kebab shops. There may even be more Jews in Berlin than Catholics. See, Berlin is in what folks used to call Prussia, and Prussia was one of the first kingdoms to go Protestant way back in the 16th century. It has been a long time since Berlin could claim to be a Catholic town.

Why did he say that? Because people have heard of Berlin. He knows better.

Grrrr.

But here's what troubles me about Bennie the Rat, on a personal level:

Before Bennie the Rat, the Papal Name Rankings had John in the lead with 23, Gregory in second place holding at 16, and Benedict at 15. Now? I'm tied with Benedict. I hope the next Pope is more thoughtful when he picks his name.

And by the way: if any one among you doesn't read Carlton's blog, I would like to urge you to do so. He's been writing quite a lot lately, and much of it is well worth reading (unlike me, with my infrequent and not-as-readable waste of electrons).

And here's where I remind you that I know the score: there aren't many people reading this, and most or all of them read Carlton anyway. I'm just saying.

2005-04-19T19:09:00.000+02:00

Obvious et rectum, there is a new Pope on the beat. His name is NOT Gregory the Sumpthinth, as I had hoped. He is, instead, Bennie 16.

And he is German.

The Germans are, of course, all thrilled about this. Birgit, for example, said "Ach, du Scheisse!" before turning back to the papers she is grading. What she means is that this is a great day for Germany. One reason is that the economy is going to get a big push from all the Papal pork that is on its way. Another reason is that priests throughout the country can now expect that, on this coming Sunday, they may have as many as 1/4 to 1/3 capacity in their churches.

Yep, I'll have the streets to myself this Sunday, relatively speaking. Just me, Birgit, and the 80 million or so other residents of Germany who don't go to church. Everyone else will be having a pope-dango.

2005-04-09T12:58:00.000+02:00

The world has changed. (whisper whisper whisper) I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes. (whisper whisper whisper) Much that once was, is no more. Much that once was not, is now. (whisper whisper whisper)

Terri Schiavo -- dead
The Pope -- dead
Prince of Grace -- dead
Prince of Grace's son-in-law -- nearer to death than me
Boone from Lost -- dead
Neil Young -- very nearly Helpless
Greg -- working for money (like, hard and stuff)
Franklin's Findings -- on hiatus
Air America's Unfiltered -- terminally filtered
Charles and Dimilla -- who fucking cares?

One is at a loss in such situations. What does one say? One might search for a larger meaning -- something to help one tie the various threads together -- or one might not.

Another piece of news is that Jane Fonda has apologized for firing surface to air missles at John McCain's flying machine. Fuck that. I want an apology for Jazzersize. To paraphrase Sir Mix-a-Lot: Fonda still ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda. Also, I want an apology for Ted Turner. And Barbarella. And Klute.

Well, Klute was pretty cool.

But here's what I really wanted to say. Last weekend Birigit and I attended a birthday party at a place called Haus Stapel (or Schloss Stapel), an 18th century baronial palace. Thing is, the baron needed money back in the 70s, it seems, and rented the joint out to hippies and dropouts. They live there still. And we were there for a party. And it was cool. You can see a picture of it HERE. Scroll down.

Actually, I also wanted to say that you need to go watch the video attached to the song America We Stand As One. It is the funniest thing ever. The whole site is pretty funny in fact.

[I found my new favorite song via a link on Bob Harris's website.]

2005-04-02T13:02:00.000+02:00

OK. I have now seen the latest Lost once. Lots to digest, as always.

If you are the sort of person who enjoys thinking about this television show, I would like to point out that some weeks ago Scott started a Wiki (don't ask if you don't know) about Lost. He and I have turned it into a sort of Fortress of Nerditude since then. In other words: we used the living room furniture and a series of blankets, clothes pins, and heavy objects to build a place where we can read comic books without being bothered by our little brothers. Or we locked ourselves in our rooms and pulled our tubes to pictures of Cheryl Tiegs.

OK. The metaphors are starting to get out of hand. How about I just cut to the chase and echo Scott's announcement: He has opened the box! DUDE!

2005-03-31T21:00:00.000+02:00

Dudes. If any of you give me the slightest hint as to what happened on last night's Lost before I give you the all clear, I will TOTALLY pull your fucking tube with extreme predjudice.

2005-03-30T19:59:00.000+02:00

I had a whole post ready which revolves around rather lame Terri Schiavo jokes. Most of those hinged on the word "tube" and the notion of what will be on the Persistant Vegetative State quarter. Posting didn't work out, so I will refrain, except to say . . .

for all the talk of Schiavos and Schindlers, what of the Tubes?

But on a more serious note.

The current issue of The Economist has a commentary about the poltical stylings of Michael Howard and the Tories. The details have little to do with the Schiavo case, but part of it is useful:

"Over the past few weeks, a new expression has entered the Westminster lexicon: dog-whistle politics. It means putting out a message that, like a high-pitched dog-whistle, is only fully audible to those at whom it is directly aimed. The intention is to make potential supporters sit up and take notice while avoiding offending those to whom the message will not appeal. As with many vivid idioms, its origins are Australian. It seems likely that" blah, blah, blah Britcakes.

I wasn't taking the Schiavo case particularly seriously, but now I'm thinking I wasn't supposed to. This whistle isn't aimed at me.

More ominously, an strong article in Counterpunch argues that We're Walking into a Trap ('we' being the leftish types).

I'm starting to see a pattern. We have the Schiavo case in the US (drumming up the Christo-fascist zombie brigades) and "Traveller" baiting in the UK (drumming up the racists and xenophobes). Then you may recall my post not long ago about the visa scandal swirling and bubbling around the German foreign minister, in which the right is claiming (with sketchy evidence) that a ravenous horde of drug-dealing-prostitution-forcing Slavs were being ushered in by the government. Then there is Australia, home of the road to surfdom and the dog-whistle style. John Howard (no relation to Michael) has been blowing his whistle for years now, and to great effect.

A vast international right wing conspiracy? Based in Australia? I don't know. There is that Rupert Murdoch fella. Probably just a coincidence.

In any event, I am starting to understand (or imagine) that there is some There there, and I think the left in general, and the leftish mainstream in particular, is (as the Economist says of the Labour party) "ploddingly tr[ying] to bat away one accusation, while another, entirely different, flies past its ears."

And we come back to that supposed remark from a Bush insider to the effect that the right is making up reality as it goes along while the rest of us flail and struggle to keep up.

AND we come back to George Orwell's "1984" (as we must, from time to time).

I'm depressed now. I need to pull my tube for a while to raise my spirits.

2005-03-28T23:41:00.000+02:00

So much to talk about . . .

I reckon the Schiavo case is on the minds of many. My position, for what it is worth, is that if she is really brain dead then she should become body dead asap. If she isn’t, and there is a genuine chance that she could improve, then let’s give it a shot. From what I have gleaned, it seems pretty clear that the former is the case.

In other news, Air America Radio has given the boot to Unfilitered in favor of Jerry Springer. I was among the first wave of Jerry fans, and so I can’t be too persnickety regarding his tv show, but I think it is fairly shabby of AAR to ditch a relatively serious and often quite cool show in favor of a ratings grabber. I know Jerry is to the left, but he’s Jerry. What’s next? The Asia Carrera show? The Carlos Delgado parade of sports? Rachel Maddow (of Unfiltered) has really moved into her gig (despite the unpleasant relative silence surrounding the departure of Lizz Winstead) and Chuck D (who has lots of irons in the fire) is just plain awesome. I figure replacing a capable white lesbian and capable black male radical (straighty) with a capable white male is a bad move politically, even if it gives a small boost in ratings. I figure folks who listen to AAR listen regardless, and that there aren’t very many folks who will tune in just to hear Springer. Maybe I’m wrong. It isn’t as if I know more than dick all about the radio business. In any event, I am agin.

BUT HERE IS THE POINT.

Those of you who know me know that I am less than keen on the idea of having a child. Those of you who don’t know me might assume that this is true based on the absence of any reference to “my kid” in a blog from a 33 year-old man. In short, I am not a kid person. But. If I had a preference . . .

Some friends of ours in Birgit’s hometown have two children. The friends are Fritz (German) and Graciela (Mexican). Their two sons are Sigfried (13) and Gottlieb (5). (Some names have been changed to protect the non me and B). Gottlieb was a spider monkey in a previous life, and carries on as if discipline was rare disease. Fritz and Graciela are the biggest pussies in the world when it comes to Gottlieb. We were over at their place Sunday night and I can offer two examples. One: Sigfried was playing with a gameboy and Gottlieb snatched it. A small fight ensued. Graciela’s solution was to ask Sigfried to let Gottlieb play with the gameboy a bit. I stepped in, and asked Gottlieb to let me play with it. He did (sucker!). I took it and immediately announced that I was giving my time to Sigfried, and then passed it back to him. Example two: Gottlieb had been put to bed but came back down anyway. His father, Fritz, ordered him to bed again. He insisted on more potato chips. Fritz said no, quite clearly. Gottlieb took some chips anyway and laughed as he ate them.

I would have been unable to pull such a stunt as a youth because it is hard to chew chips when your father has just knocked your teeth down your throat.

Siegfried is an altogether more interesting kid. First, he responds well to requests and commands (not true of his brother). Second, he is intelligent (the little’un is too young for one to be sure). Late last year, Graciela took Siegfried to an eye doctor because his grades had been falling and he had been complaining of headaches. At first they had chalked it up as puberty or stress (they were also building a house), but it seemed to be more than that. The eye doctor determined that he was showing symptoms of a brain tumor. This turned out to be spot on, and Siegfried has had several surgeries and is currently undergoing chemotherapy. He will, very likely, die within the next few years (he is the only kid in Europe with his kind of tumor, apparently).

So anyway, Siegfried is a nice, smart, funny, well-behaved kid. He is probably going to die soon, and Fritz and Graciela will be left with a monkey on their hands. If I had to choose a kid, I would take a Siegfried. I will miss him.

2005-03-23T21:44:00.000+01:00

UN UNEMPLOYED, and legal to boot.

Last Thursday I picked up my official work permit. The Proper Authorities had been processing it for 4 weeks (a Lost magic number!). I began the process after having shown that an employer was offering me work. The process involved the Proper Authorities checking to see whether I might be nefariously filching a job that might just as well be done by a person registered with them as un un unemployed. It appears that there were no indigent native-English speakers with teaching experience registered in the greater Dortmund area, and so I was given the go-ahead.

Today I was invited to come to discuss and sign my contract on 29 March. I am to then start a bit of training on 5 April, with a planned formal first day on the job set for 18 April.

(I have been doing a bit of pickup work in the shadows of the law in the meantime. I have been assured that I am causing no trouble, and I hope that's true.)

The bad news is that I will have to buy some grown-up clothes.