Monday, May 12, 2003

For those of you (and there may only be a few, but you few are important) who still doubt that Dubyah was chosen by the God of Adam himself to wield the terrible swift sword, consider this:

Not only has the US captured a dude named Chemical Ali, and a woman named Mrs. Anthrax, but now they've got Dr. Germ! Why would there be people with such incriminating names working in Iraq if there weren't overt support from the regime of Saddam Hussein? If you were just a regular old, God-fearing scientist with some self respect, wouldn't you change your name to "Smith" or something so that no one would think ill of you? But not these people! Oh no! They walked proudly into the Baghdad Crackerbarrell and had "Anthrax, party of four" and similar stuff announced over the loudspeakers!

And don't give me shit about how Mrs. Anthrax probably isn't her maiden name. It turns out that really is her name: as a professional woman of some standing, she decided to keep her name after marriage, adding only the "Mrs." to signal that she had been wed. Her husband, in fact, is none other than the notorious (and soon-to-be-caught) madman Johnny Drugdealer.

Justice is coming, however, for these dastards. Watch for the capture, soon, of not only Johnny Drugdealer (who can run, but can't hide) but also of Professor Botulism, who is believed to be hiding in Syria along with Nuclear bin Azizzi, Mahmoud Wellpoisoner, and Dyana Puppysmotherer.

I hear "Come Talk to Me" by Peter Gabriel.


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