Friday, March 18, 2005

Ok. Thursday’s games sucked. I’m 5-12 (if you count, as I do, the Oakland/Al A&M game). So. It ain’t lookin’ good for my strategy. A wiser man might take a peek at things like records, seeds, scouting reports, and whatnot. But not me. I’m going to dance with what brung me: team colors, mascots, home towns, and vague quasi reasoning!


(in Oklahoma City)
The SOUTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY SALUKIS (1869) will defeat the ST. MARY’S (of California) GAELS (1863). You have GOT to go with the Salukis on this one. I mean, that’s funny sounding. And Gaels? I used to know a Gail, and athough she was tall, she wasn’t a great basketball player.

RIGHT!!! SIU 65 STC 56
I am 6-12.

They will play the winner of the match between the OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY COWBOYS (1890) and the SOUTHEAST LOUISIANA LIONS (1925). This is a tough one, because Scott and Shelley are OSU alumps on the one hand, and Southeast Louisiana is in Houma (or Hammond), which needs a victory. Add in the fact that in a fight between a cowboy and a lion, it could go either way. A good cowboy with a pistol and or whip could, I reckon, take the lion. But a sleepy cowboy lying on the ground might fall prey to a steathy lion. So many factors to consider. OSU will win, I guess.

RIGHT!!! OSU 63 SEL 50
I am 7-12.

Then there is the UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN BADGERS (1846) versus the NORTHERN IOWA UNIVERSITY PANTHERS (1876). This battle could well happen in nature. I think the panther would take the badger, despite the badger being from an older school.

WRONG!!! UW 57 NI 52
I am 7-13.

They will play either the UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS JAYHAWKS (1866) or the BUCKNELL COLLEGE BISON (1846). The jayhawks and bison have met before, and I think we know how that worked out. If you don’t, let me just say that there used to be bison asshole to elbow in Kansas, but now? Not so much. UK will win.

WRONG!!! BC 64 UK 63. I don't mind being wrong about this one. About time the bison got revenge. I am 7-14.

In Nashville, the GEORGIA TECH UNIVERSITY YELLOW JACKETS (1885) will defeat the GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY COLONIALS (1821). Yellowjackets are mean, and there isn’t much a colonial can do against them.

RIGHT!!! GT 80 GW 68
I am 8-14.

The winner plays the winner of the UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE CARDINALS (1798)
versus the UNIVERSITY OF LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE RAGIN’ CAJUNS (1898). I’m takin the Cajuns, always, even though Louisville is older.

WRONG!!! UL 68 ULL 62.
I am 8-15. This does not look good for Homestar Runner.

The VILLANOVA UNIVERSITY WILDCATS (1842) will lose to the UNIVERSITY OF NEW MEXICO LOBOS (1869), cuz lobos are wolves, and even a large wildcat would have a problem with wolves (wolves work together, wildcats go solo).

WRONG!!! VU 55 UNM 47.
I am 8-16.

They will play the winner of the UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA GATORS (1853) versus OHIO UNIVERSITY BOBCATS (1804). I’m taking the Bobcats, despite the fact that gators are awesome. In this case my hatred for the state of Florida is overwhelming my mascot fetish.

WRONG!!! UF 67 OU 62
I am 8-17.

In Charlotte, the UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA TAR HEELS (1789) will face the OAKLAND COLLEGE (?) GRIZZLIES (1957). This one is tough, cuz the Grizzlies have done it to me once already. I’m thinking of the fact that the Tar Heels are sortof playing before a home town crowd. Grizzles are still awesome, but I don’t know what a tar heel is or how dangerous it could be. And UNC is older. Hmm. Go with UNC, I guess.

RIGHT!!! UNC 96 OC 68
I am 9-17.

the UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA GOLDEN GOPHERS (1851) versus IOWA STATE UNIVERSITY CYCLONES (1788). I don’t for a minute believe that there was a university in Iowa in 1788, but that’s what ESPN would have me believe. I call deception. No matter: in case of a cyclone, gophers are ideally fitted to cope. They will just duck underground until it blows itself out. UM will win.

WRONG!!! ISU 64 UM 53
I am 9-18.

Not only did UNC get to play in Charlotte, but so does the DUKE UNIVERSITY BLUE DEVILS (1838) when they face the DELAWARE STATE UNIVERSITY HORNETS (1891). Bad news for the Hornets. They really never had a chance, though, because Blue Devils have supernatural powers of evil, and could likely control critters like hornets.

RIGHT!!! DU 57 DSU 46
I am 10-18,

Duke will win, and go on to play either the
STANFORD CARDINAL (1891) or the MISSISSIPPI STATE UNIVERSITY BULLDOGS (1878). I’ve said before that I hate bad nicknames, and the Cardinal is among the worst ever. I don’t care for bulldogs in general, but I’ll let them have this one. And anyway, Standford has had some horrible students: Chelsea Clinton? Condoleeza Rice? Yeah. MSU.

RIGHT!!! And how! MSU 93 SU 70. This was a minor upset. My first today.
I am 11-18.

In Worchester (Mass?) neither the UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA-CHARLOTTE 49ers (1946) nor the NORTH CAROLINA STATE UNIVERSITY WOLFPACK (1887) got the same sweet deal as UNC and Duke. That sucks. I’m taking the Wolfpack for two reasons. One is that one of my students from Mexico is a student there now in part because I guided him through the application process. The other is that UNCC calls itself the 49s even though it was founded in 46. Can you be too stupid for basketball? Yes.

RIGHT!!! NCSU 75 UNCC 63. This was a reasonably significant upset. 2 for me today. (Apparently the losers are now just "Charlotte").
I am 12-16.

The UNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT HUSKIES (1881) versus CENTRAL FLORIDA UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS (1963). So much here: my hatred of Florida, my hatred of dogs, UConn’s relative age, the likelihood that the huskies might get sworded. I’m going with the Knights on a hunch. Their armor will defend them against the huskies, I think. The trick will be moving fast enough to get some sword blows in. One to watch.

RIGHT!!! UC 77 CFU 71
I am 13-18,

Finally, the MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY SPARTANS (1855) will defeat the OLD DOMINION UNIVERSITY MONARCHS (1930). Michigan State will win because Michael Moore likes them, because they are older, because they aren’t from East Virginia, and because the Spartans were warriors, unlike the vague clump of Monarchs. I mean, who will show up for ODU? Alexander the Great, Bodiccea, Charlemagne, Saladin, and Ghengis Kahn? That would be a tough team. But what if it is Edward VI, Maximillian of Mexico, Louis XVIII, Isabella II, and the Last Emperor? Dude. Take the Spartans.

RIGHT!!! MSU 89 ODU 81
I am 14-18.

They will then play the winner of the SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY ORANGE (1870) versus the VERMONT UNIVERSITY CATAMOUNTS (1791). An ORANGE? The hell? That’s worse than a cardinal! What can an orange hope to do against a cat, much less a cat o’mount? Take Vermont.

RIGHT!!! VU 60 SU 57. This was a significant upset. My third today.

I am 15-17 in round one.


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