Friday, March 07, 2003

Dubyah just gave a speech in which he referred, apparently, to the twelve “long” years of Saddam Hussein’s naughtiness (I say apparently because the rabidly knee-jerk anti-american Mexican tv stations didn’t carry the speech: bless them!).

I am 31 long years old.

1971 -- I was born. The US was fighting in Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia (not always directly).
1972 -- I was gaining sentience. Nothing much had changed since the previous year.
1973 -- Words were starting to form, walking was being done, and Vietnam was still (sorta) going on. The US got in bed with Pinochet in Chile
1974 -- The bliss of childhood: nothing particularly special to report on the US action front.
1975 -- My brother was born: I immediately refused to be his keeper. The US wasn’t done with Cambodia.
1976 -- Bicentennial: I endorsed Ford over my parents’ choice of Carter (my logic, unimpeachable as ever, was along the lines of “who better to be president than the president?”). School starts. Angola proxy war.
1977 -- more school, more proxy fighting.
1978 -- ditto
1979 -- I was a very naughty schoolboy. Soviet invasion of Afghanistan: the fun starts!
1980 -- Battlestar Gallactica finally reached Earth. Iran stuff. Afghanistan stuff. Contras.
1981 -- Still naughty. Central America flares up bigtime and Uncle Sam is there!
1982 -- Just assume naughty schoolboy until 1986. Don’t forget Lebanon!
1983 -- Grenada
1984 -- not THAT 1984, silly! Not yet, anyway. M.E., C.A., Afghanistan, drug war
1985 -- more M.E., C.A., Afghanistan, drug war
1986 -- more M.E., C.A., Afghanistan, drug war
1987 -- more M.E., C.A., Afghanistan, drug war
1988 -- MORE M.E., C.A., Afghanistan, drug war
1989 -- MORE M.E., C.A., Afghanistan, drug war, with a dash of “end of the Cold War” and a side order of invading Panama (operation “just ‘cause!”)
1990 -- HERE’S that naughty Saddam! And I’m in college now!
1991 -- we got him, but good! But we will continue getting him for the next 12 long years.
1992 -- Somolia! Woot!
1993 -- I move abroad for the first time. Bosnia! Woot!
1994 -- I return, and meet Birgit. Haiti! Woot!
1995 -- basically same shit, different day.
1996 -- quiet time. I move away again, and work (sorta) for the US government!
1997 -- more quiet time.
1998 -- Sudan, Afghanistan, embassy bombings. I return to the US (why?).
1999 -- Yugoslavia!
2000 -- somewhat quiet
2001 -- NY and Wash terrorist attacks, US goes in search of the “real killers”
2002 -- I move away again. The hunt for the “real killers” continues, but meanwhile yonder Saddam Hussein has a lean and hungry look.
2003 -- We are a peace loving people. Would you like “freedom fries” with that, sir?

see this for some dates

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