Here's the ONLY reason I wish I were in the US right now: my beloved Chicago Cubs are over 1/3 of the way through the season and are NOT YET out of it. In fact, the Cubbies are, narrowly, in FIRST PLACE in their division!!! And they've done it with minimal reliance on Sosa's (big, big, ohmigodit'sbig) bat. I told a friend, upon the hiring of Dusty Baker, that I saw no reason to believe that he could work any more magic than any of the other fine managers they've had. That piece of wisdom is on its way towards the memoryhole as I type this.

"Uncle Fucker" from Southpark and "I'm an Old Cowhand (from the Rio Grande)" by Harry Connick, Jr.