Thursday, October 14, 2004

I have read through the TRANSCRIPT now, and determined to write a more exhaustive examination of the debate. Before I wrote this I looked at a few blogs and listened to Air America, however, and was surprised to see how many people think Kerry won this one hands down. As I said before, Kerry was better on substance, but Dubyah has never gotten ANYWHERE on substance. His entire life has been built on style, and his style in this debate was up to his par.

This is as good a time as any to say that this election is a pretty good example of what the Dems generally get wrong but Clinton got right: Style is the key. I don’t think it should be, but it is. Yesterday Randi Rhodes was agonizing over how Dubyah can spout out stupid shit and people across America smile and say “I love dis guy!” Yep. That’s how they do it. That’s how Clinton did it. That’s how Reagan did it. That’s how Kennedy did it.


FIRST STUPID QUESTION: Will our children and grandchildren ever live in a world as safe and secure as the world in which we grew up?
HOW IT IS STUPID: Surely Bob Schieffer remembers the Cold War. In fact, I’m pretty sure (just from looking at him) that Bob remembers the Second World War. Safe and secure?
STUPID FIELDING: Kerry accepts Bob’s fucked up understanding of history and the premise that there was a Golden Age, not so long ago, to which we might return. Conservative much? Dubyah (who has a fucking history degree from Yale) does the same. He adds that we have “rid[ing] the Taliban out of Afghanistan”, which isn’t true (and, strictly speaking, isn’t possible under the rules of English grammar).

SECOND (arguably) STUPID QUESTION: Flu vaccine? The fuck?
STUPID FIELDING: Dubyah blames a company “out of England” (which is really a subsidiary of a company out of Amercuh AND THEN catches himself before saying that he’s hoping Canada (from which he blocks drug REimportation due to safety reasons) will save us, saying that they’ll “produce a -- help us realize the vaccine” Dood. And then he says young, healthy people shouldn’t get a flu shot. Surely he’s not talking of rationing health care? Oh yes he is.

NOT A STUPID QUESTION: Bob asks what Dubyah would say to people who have had their jobs outsourced.
DUBYAH RESPONDS (stupidly): clean yourself up, kid, and go to community college. Cuz software programmers are really suffrering from a lack of welding skills, you know.

EXCELLENT QUESTION: Do you believe homosexuality is a choice?
THE ANSWER was obviously awkward for Dubyah. Kerry did an OK job with it, except I don’t care for bringing Mary Cheney into this by name. Also, I’m NOT one of god’s children, Senator Churchy McChurch!

EXCELLENT QUESTION: Would you like to [overturn Roe]?
HILLARIOUS ANSWER: Dubyah couldn’t fucking come out and say it! Amazing. I can’t help but think lots of fetus fetishists out their got pissed at that answer.

MEMO TO KERRY AND DUBYAH: it is the Congressional Black Caucus, not the Black Congressional Caucus.

MY LEAST FAVORITE QUESTION OF THE NIGHT, as I say in the post below, was the “that little light of yours: are you gonna let it shine?” one. What a softball. While he was on it, he should have asked “Mr President, many Americans think dogs make excellent pets. Could you please tell us what you think of cute and fuzzy puppies?”

OH AND, BY THE WAY: if god wants everybody to be free, let him fuckin make em free. Can’t he just free everybody with a stroke of his godpen? Must we kill one another? Hello? God?

The god question, as you might imagine, touched a nerve with me. I didn’t like Kerry’s answer, either, although he did tip his hat to the rational among us, saying that we have the right not to practice religion. So.

THE FINAL QUESTION SUCKED AS BAD AS THE FIRST ONE: Mr President, Senator Kerry, I think we can all agree with Maurice Chevalier. Please join me now in singing “Thank Heaven for Little Girls”. Or, if you prefer, “It’s a Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World” by the Godfather of Soul.

Jesus H. Christ on a Rubber Crutch!

KERRY COULD HAVE SCORED POINTS, I reckon, by saying “Like many (most?) women in America, the women in my life have careers.” He could go on to say whatever it is that the women in his life do and then slide over into a shout out to the working moms out there, cuz Mama’s Always on Stage. But he didn’t. He just fell back on the whole domestic sphere thing: women are moral and keep their household and their men on the path of righteousness. Femmes covert?

DUBYAH’S ANSWER was what we might have expected. Kerry surprised me.


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