Monday, March 07, 2005

Today I was in line at the local Aldi market. The fellow ahead of me smelled like he'd had a bit to drink (everyday for the last several years). But hey. Not an issue. Except that he was smelly.

Anyway, he was buying three things. Two of them were identical.

He started to chat with me about the weather, cuz it was shitty today. This violated two rules I don't normally publicize: 1) I would rather not chat with a stranger, given the option; 2) I prefer not to have stank blown my way. But hey. So, having broken the ice, Fellow felt compelled to make it clear that the one thing (which was not like the others) among his three purchases wasn't for him. It was for his Buddy, outside.

I, of course, couldn't possibly have cared less (see rule 1) and would have rather not had it noted (see rules 1 and 2).

Except. The one thing was a bottle of Korn booze. It is made from wheat, is clear, and in a blind taste test you will pick it out as being nearly the shittiest thing you've ever put in your mouth. But hey. His Buddy's.

Except. The two things he was buying for himself were two 1-liter tetrapack boxes of SoopRCheep brand white wine (Winos slur for it by name!). And HE had the NERVE to hint that it was his Buddy who had the bad taste?!?!? Doods. Trust me. If you are given the choice between SoopRCheep and Korn, take the Korn.

I *almost* defended Buddy. But then rules 1 and 2 kicked in and I just grunted my understanding and, thereby, ended the conversation by misrepresenting myself. He will, no doubt, consider my grunt an endorsement of his preference, when a little part of me was really considering paying him to drink something other than what he was planning on drinking, but was silenced by rules 1 and 2.

[Birgit suspects that Fellow may have seen me frown or give "a look" and misinterpreted it as my having somehow judged him on his purchases. In fact, I was thinking about rules 1 and 2.]



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