Neal Pollack's The Maelstrom made an open call for people to make fun of Dick and Lynne Cheney today. The samples I've seen so far are way out of my league, comedy wise, but I'll have a go anyway.

The man's name is DICK. Gold does not tarnish, ladies and gentlemen.

Given his ruthless warmongering, people in more civilized times would have affectionately called him "Bloody Dick", which would have rocked. There was, incidentally, a Union general in the Civil War who had the nickname "Greasy Dick", but I can't remember more details.

Then there's the whole "he has a lot of heart attacks" angle. Huh huh huh! He's like that dude on that old commercial who said "I'm having chest pains!"

The funniest thing about Dick Cheney is that some people actually seem to trust him. That's HIfuckingLARIOUS.

And Lynne? Not so funny. Sorta creepy.

I'm so happy that I can't stop cryin' (Toby Keith song written by Sting)